SAD

Surrounded I am lonely

my eyes are growing dim

sad

as sad can be right now

is how I feel within

I cant really pinpoint

when it all

went to shit

time has past so quickly

and I cant keep up with it .

I think about the times you spent

laying in my heart

face upon my chest

while being miles apart

I wonder even if the times

we fell fast asleep

with my member deep within you and our undies at our feet

If you ever really cared about

what my heart did say

If you ever really touched the part

that never felt ok

I wonder if its only you

that never felt my love

for the sadness

it is killing me

when push comes to a shove

I blame you for my anger

I blame everybody else

I still remember everything

but I put that on the shelf

beside the books

I will never read

I cant bring myself to look

For if I am a nobody

I will never write that book

You will have the reason

like the others in the past

to make sure that the relationship

was not gunna last .

I will watch the tv

until

The nurse says time for bed

that's if I am not homeless

or if I am not dead

You will cuddle someone

That you don't even really know

Happiness is not for all

This inside I know

Maybe I will write that book

that no one will ever read

will that stop the hate inside

will it feed my greed

Will it make me happy

happier than now

scared I am of trying

and finding out somehow .