Sacrificial Lamb

What makes a child sacrifice worthy? Speed, grace, smarts, competency? I guess in this respect my lot in life was earned not picked for me. For it wouldn’t be a fair trade without some gift of quality. How many children are just their parents’ pocket change, their backup chip for bargaining? Since they themselves have done little, and make no attempts to raise themselves in dignity.

No more, I won’t feed your depravity. Every attack that landed upon me was simply another drop on the pyre of your sorcery. I would rather set myself ablaze than ever give you the satisfaction of taking my pain as part of your rituals of infanticidal witchery! You may have sucked the life away from me, leaving others a martyr to label me. I your sacrifice shall no never again be. I planned my escape to somewhere you can not even see. Invisibility is the only option available to me. I take it readily, waiting for the day you permanently disappear from the sphere you pollute with your selfish criminality.

On that day the grown children shall exit their abodes and celebrate freely. Once precious little lambs led off to the slaughter, now ready to give their first real smiles and unmasked laughter. The unsure sound emanates from chronically afflicted, stunted bodies. I will dance in the beauty of their laughter and tears until the sound drowns out even your undeserved memory.

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This is an exploration of my feelings regarding my anger at my parents and any parents who would choose their ease over their child’s well-being. Or one child over another, or simply choose to look away from the horrible effects someone else’s abuse is having on their child. You don’t have to be physically or emotionally abusing your child to be culpable in the damage.

I will freely admit I don’t have children. I am not up to the task of adequately raising a child, so I have made the conscious decision not to have any. I don’t not want children, I just don’t want children to suffer more than I want some of my own. A word to the wise, if you have made every bad decision for your child in their lives possible and every time they make a good decision, try to sabotage it to keep them under your thumb, this only works for so long. Until it doesn’t until they see just how manipulative you have been their entire life that they cut you out forever.