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"Life is full of grief, to exactly the degree we allow ourselves to love other people." Orson Scott Card, Shadow of the Giant.

By Sian N. CluttonPublished about a month ago 4 min read
Photo by Transly Translation Agency on Unsplash

I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to try.

Be brave, little one. It's okay to cry.

But it’s hurting my heart; he’s gone away.

Breathe slowly, my darling. It will be okay.

Just wake him up, Mum. Make him come back.

I would if I could, but those skills I lack.

But why does this happen? It doesn't seem fair.

There’s no rhyme or reason for the grief that we bear.

It doesn’t make sense; he was here yesterday.

Just take a deep breath and think what to say.

My words are all muddled. Speaking to him is tough.

Just think of the laughter, the happiness, the love.

It hurts to remember the kindness he’s shown.

Take all the time you need - before we head home.

But I don’t want to leave him, here, on his own.

Darling, he’ll be in our hearts wherever we roam.

I don’t want to do it. Why is he no longer there?

I know it hurts, baby. It’s a pain that we share.

Words won't possibly explain the pain that I feel.

Then tell him that, sweetie. It’s those words that are real.


It’s part of the process. To help your heart grieve.

By just saying some words before we get up and leave?

It’s a sad fact of life, the time it can steal.

Mum, I can’t do it. This doesn’t feel real.

You'll regret it, my love. Please trust me in this.

What if, instead of some words, I leave him a kiss?

If that’s what feels right, then that’s okay, too.

Nothing feels right. I’m not sure what to do.

Follow your heart. I know that it stings.

Goodbye is an ending - the pain that it brings.

Please try to remember the good, not the bad.

But he’s been taken from me. It makes me so sad.

Hold on to the memories. Remember his touch.

I can’t think about it, Mum, his voice is too much.

That's understandable, child. It must seem surreal.

What's the point of death and all the pain that we feel?


He looks so fragile, so still, lying there.

Just tell him you love him. Show him you care.

My words don’t make sense. They’re all stuck in my head.

That’s normal, my love, like the tears we have shed.

Do you think when they found him, he knew they were there?

I think he knew he was loved by a family who care.

He must have been scared, all alone on the floor.

He wasn’t there long before help reached the door.

I find it so scary that people die from old age.

It’s okay, my sweet boy. You’re being so brave.

Do you think he was scared when he couldn’t be saved?

No, he wasn't scared, baby. The peace was long-craved.


He was old; it was quick. He’s not in pain anymore.

I can’t imagine his fear. He’s at peace now, you’re sure?

I promise you, sweetheart. He’s in heaven, I trust.

I don’t care for heaven. I just want him with us.

Please remember, he loved you. You’re not on your own.

But we'll leave him behind and drive all the way home?

He’ll be with you in spirit; in your heart, he will sit.

Forever and always, I’ll never forget.

Take each moment slowly. You’ll get through this, I swear.

I wish he was here and not somewhere up there.

I know that it’s painful when someone departs.

It’s more than just painful; it’s breaking my heart.

I’m afraid I can’t shield you from life and its strife.

So how do we say goodbye to a life?

Take small steps, my lovely, each day, nice and slow.

Mum, when I get older, will I too just go?

Don't think such things. I know that it's sad.

I loved him so much, all the fun that we had.

That's better, baby. Think of the good.

I'd live every moment again if I could.

Tell him how much you’ll miss him or sing him a song.

My head’s all messed up. I’ll speak my words wrong.

It’ll be perfect, my love, however you choose to mourn.

It seems pointless to tell him. He's gone now, I'm torn.

It’s important to process by saying goodbye.

I don’t think I can do this. I just want to cry.

That's normal, my dear. This has come as a shock.

He was the best friend I had, my world, my rock.

Look at me, lovely. Look into my eyes.

They look just like his, but red where you’ve cried.

I promise you, my boy, that he’s at peace now.

I believe you. I do. But I don't understand how.

Up there, in the heavens, he's lovingly looking down.

On me?

On you, on all of us. And he’s smiling, oh so proud.

Can he hear my thoughts? Of everything I will miss?

I believe he can. He’ll watch over you through this.


But if the words illude you now, just dream of him instead.

You promise he’ll still hear me when I’m all tucked up in bed?

He'll hear every word, my angel, even though he's out of sight.

I’ll see you in my dreams. Until then, sweet dreams, Papa. Goodnight.

Mental Healthsad poetrylove poemsheartbreakGratitudeFriendshipFree VerseFamily

About the Creator

Sian N. Clutton

A horror and thriller writer at heart, who's recently decided to take a stab at other genres.

I sincerly hope you find something that either touches your soul or scares your socks off.

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Reader insights


Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

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Comments (12)

  • Canuck Scriber L.Lachapelle Authorabout a month ago

    Beautiful and sad. I'm happy to subscribe to your work.

  • Rasma Raistersabout a month ago

    This is just outstanding, A poetic diaglogue of such understanding and passion. Loved this,

  • Dharrsheena Raja Segarranabout a month ago

    Gosh this tugged at my heartstrings. So poignant and emotional. Loved your poem! Also, I was so happy to see your name in my notifications hehehehe

  • Tiffany Gordon about a month ago

    You did a wonderful job on this piece! It was comforting, beautifully-written and full of sage advice! Very well done..

  • Mark Gagnonabout a month ago

    Orson Scott Card is one of my favorite sci-fi authors. You have excellent taste.

  • Caroline Janeabout a month ago

    Oh goodness a poem from the heart that speaks to all our inner children. ❤️ Lovely.

  • Andrew C McDonaldabout a month ago

    Painful, poignant, on point. This is so real I can see it. Fantastic work.

  • Babs Iversonabout a month ago

    Poignantly expressed!!! Loved it!!!❤️❤️💕

  • A touching conversation piece, beautifully worded

  • Cathy holmesabout a month ago

    This is so lovely. Well done.

  • Rachel Sabout a month ago

    I'm reading this with tears in my eyes. the grief and pain is tangible. This is probably the most realatble and heartfelt poem I've ever read about grief! Beautiful job!

  • Rachel Deemingabout a month ago

    Just lovely. Nice to see you back on here. And this is a great entry to come back with. Cathartic too, I bet. Hugs.

Sian N. CluttonWritten by Sian N. Clutton

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