Played out

I am so physically and emotionally tired..

As if all warehouses were only ran by one person, and I’ve been locally hired.

Yet I’m okay with that.

Why? I don’t know.. maybe pride?

Maybe it’s because I can finally see this scary reality and begin to feel my heartbeat incline.

But when I’m asked how I feel “ I’m doing great” is all that I reply.

“Great” because great is all that I let them see.

little do they know, when I pull up at work I gotta take a pill for anxiety just to do my job correctly!

Meanwhile they all sit in a circle just to have a talk about me.

But the only reason they do is because I won’t be a friend to enemies when all I’ve asked from them is to respect me!

This wall I built isn’t to show pride, I built it to protect ME.

No one wanted to help me, I did it myself, so it’s hard to have pride in myself when I’m driving an old car that half runs when I know I should be driving a Bentley!

Because that’s what I deserve. ..

I’m worthy of more then just your lousy word

because that word is nothing but a lie and no less then absurd,

as a matter a fact, it’s trash, just lay it out by the curb!

Our plates are both empty,

but the difference is that I was cooking you steak,

when I was getting grains of rice in return.

My mind is so overwhelmed with thoughts that I lose track of what I’m explaining….

Oh yeah, tired…

I leave for work before daylight and get home around that same time.

Yeah tired… with a two hour drive, yet it somehow gives me piece of mind…

Then finally home and time to sleep but I’ve got to be up before I even close my eyes..

But I don’t do it for me, this is for my kids!

THIS is where my life begins.

I live for them and that’ll never end.

so call it tired. ill wear that proudly!

my biggest inspirations are Trinity, Lincoln, and Jerry.

i was pushed into thinking that love wasn't real, but just one hug and kiss from them is all it takes to show me.

hate filled half of my heart by former acquaintances, while my kids filled the other half with love and joy. a heart split between love and hate like yang and ying.

i write to get relief from stress and pain not for clout,

and this is just a story of a heart thats been played out.

-Brittany