Oops

I hurt myself again today,

I allowed you to build me back up far past what I’ve built myself

I hurt myself again.

I built a door in my walls and allowed you to walk through

I broke rules

I suspended the notion that i don’t deserve to have happiness

I shed the cloak that hid me from the deciders of karma

I built this idea of some fairytale in my mind

I lost focus of myself and let you give me butterflies again.

I locked them up such a long time ago, i was certain they all died and wouldn’t reanimate

But here i am, with a stomach full of beautifully struggling creatures creating knots

I hurt myself again.

I believed you were the one i had to take the chance with

I betrayed myself again

I allowed you to become part of my still beating heart.

I hurt myself again when i believed the beautiful things you said i was.