Old Spice Memories

Crooked smile, dancing blue eyes

Citrus and Spice aftershave

I still see the green bottle

Sitting on the dresser next to

the humidor.

You didn’t smoke as far as I knew

Maybe the occasional cigar

Saturday mornings

Pancakes, extra spices

Nutmeg, cinnamon, clove

Splash of almond extract

Fresh lemon zest – Heaven...

The old wooden spoon

When we couldn’t afford

Real maple syrup,

you’d make your own

with sugar and spices

I didn’t know the difference

In plaid cutoff shorts

And solid work boots

Getting ready to tackle the lawn

I’ve always loved the smell

Of freshly mown grass

It reminds me of you

You were the chauffeur

Picking up or dropping off

Ballet lessons, ice skating,

Piano at Mrs. Byler’s

Play practice

Little League

Chemical Engineer

Helping me with school

Science projects

You made a replica of

the entire solar system –

measurements so precise,

no way my teacher

thought I’d made this

Barbecues and Picnics

Grilling up anything –

Ribs, BBQ chicken,

Clam bake...

Always plenty for

Whoever may show up

School Dances and Cotillion

Waltz, fox trot, even a little zydeco

You were my date to the

Father-Daughter dance

Decked out in

Our Hawaiian shirts

You made me feel special and beautiful

You made me feel loved and cherished

I hated to disappoint you – I only wanted your

Approval – I was a good girl

Dog walks with Daisy

Who wandered the neighborhood

Following her beagle nose

We’d play hide and seek,

Under the over-flowing mulberry tree

Ten hour drives to northern Michigan,

The Yellow Submarine loaded

Sleeping bags in the waaayyy back

Rich and I singing to cars behind us

“I’m a pepper, You’re a pepper, ...”

We packed powdered milk

Were we really that poor?

Cottage on Glen Lake surrounded by trees

Camp outs in the big blue tent

Feeding the spiteful swans

Chasing and hissing

Riding lessons, dune hikes,

Wildflower picking, water skiing,

Sailing, board games

Don’t think we were that poor...

I hated powdered milk.

You were a safe haven

Wish you didn’t work far away

And travel so much

Mom was unpredictable, volatile

I missed your steadfastness

Your easy way

Little did I know the secrets you kept

Three little girls elsewhere

Three little girls - needed you

More than I did

Three little girls

Lives upended

How could you love me that much

And yet, do that to them?

I can’t imagine you not loving them

As much

Later, I learned their names

Later, I learned their stories, their traumas

Later, I learned your story too

Only after you had died

One is a poet and writer

Who found my brother, Rich,

Also a writer,

On the Internet when they

were both writing about

You

You made mistakes

A failed first marriage

A failed second marriage

Only you never left

The price too high

I loved you still

Still do

No one’s perfect

Life is complicated

I’ve never been to war

Except in my head

I’ve never had to make

Peace with an alcoholic

I still see your crooked smile

Crooked teeth

And the light in your blue-grey eyes

Oh – to held by you again

To hear you call me

“Peach”

I’ll always be your Peach