Music Lost and Found

There was a girl with silent eyes

and a broken heart that only sighs.

Her soul once sang the song of rainbows;

now it withers, no longer glows.

The music she once held so dear

was stolen; taken by those who fear.

She never meant for this to happen,

but it’s always been the same old pattern.

They ridiculed her stubborn kindness,

said she suffered colour blindness!

They snatched up everything she’d offer,

leaving nothing in her coffer.

Now the world is black and white;

she wonders if she should quit the fight.

Her dreams are shattered beyond repair -

Why go on? It just isn’t fair.

She took a stroll one miserable day,

wondering what her mourners would say.

Would anyone care that she was lost?

Or simply forget her like a winter’s frost?

Where she wandered she did not care;

all the sorrow she could not bear.

She needed a final resting place

where never would they see her face.

And then she heard it, soft and sweet,

a melody, a drumming beat.

Her eyes grew wide at the sound;

was that music she had found?

She searched the trees for the source,

alas it seemed an invisible force,

but when the singing joined in,

she knew this force was her kin!

They sang of sorrow and of pain -

how one could still see through the rain;

and suddenly she knew the words,

added her voice to the hiding songbirds.

She ran, searching, calling out,

eager to end her hopeless drought,

“Where are you? Please, show me the way!

It matters not if you’re human or fae!”

*

At her behest they ventured forth,

a radiant light coming from the north

That they were fae there was no doubt,

and she gave a mighty, jubilant shout;

because now, finally, she knew

that she was part of the fae too.

She wasn’t broken, she’d just forgotten,

believing instead that she was rotten.

Now she donned her true identity,

and forged herself a music key.

Her broken heart was whole once more,

with colours no one could ignore.

The fae cheered and raised her high.

Her heart gave a long, contented sigh.

With courage she addressed the crowd,

her voice carrying loud and proud,

“My story will not end this night,

for I have found the strength to fight.

This is my fervent, sacred vow

I choose to live, here and now!”

The End

*

Thank you so much for reading! This is a poem I wrote for a Semicolon Project collection, a project that is very close to my heart.

It's hard when you feel like no one understands you - when no one will even try to understand you. It makes you feel like you don't belong and that you will never find somewhere to fit in.

Being different isn't a bad thing; and don't let anyone tell you it is! You would be amazed how many people out there actually feel like they don’t belong, that they’re ostracised from the rest of society. I remember when I learned for the first time that there were other people who felt like I did. It was when I first heard Linkin Park's song 'Somewhere I Belong.' Well, it was Linkin Park's music as a whole, really. Chester sang from his soul; and I felt that. I felt the pain, the angst, the loneliness… a veritable wave of emotions that I could understand pouring through the speakers. The lyrics to the majority of Linkin Park’s songs spoke to me in a way nothing had before. Suddenly I didn’t feel so alone. The loss of Chester Bennington will forever be a tragedy of a beautiful human who’s life ended far too soon. Even today there are still some Linkin Park songs I can no longer listen to because they overwhelm ne with sadness. All the things Chester was saying when he sang and yet no one listened. It is a sobering reminder to just be kind. Always. Because you have no idea the battles some people are facing.

I’ve also just finished the Shadowhunters series, “The Infernal Devices,” by Cassandra Clare. This series takes place in the 1800s, long before the time of Clary Fairchild from the more well-known "Mortal Instruments" series. It follows the story of Tessa Gray, a young girl who is on a journey of self discovery to find out just who and what she is. Along the way, she falls in love with James Carstairs, better known as Jem.

Jem loves to play the violin and he writes a piece of music for Tessa that he performs for her as a gift. When he is finished playing, he asks Tessa if she liked it. Tessa replies, "It was like I saw your soul in the notes of the music. And it was beautiful. I saw rivers, boats like flowers, all the colours of the night sky."

Jem is overcome with emotion because he realises that Tessa understands his music, and he says as much to her. At first, Tessa doesn't understand what Jem meant, so Jem says this by way of explanation, "Every heart has its own melody. You know mine."

This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read; such a powerful analogy and it could not be more true. I still feel like no one understands my music, and I have to constantly remind myself that it's okay. The important thing is that I love and accept my own music for its unique beauty. When we accept ourselves as we are, when we embrace our music and let it play out loud and proud, that is when we will find others who will understand our melody. Admittedly, it is a lesson I am still trying to learn. It's not easy. I find that the more I embrace who I am, the more people seem to reject me. Then I realised what was happening. I was just eliminating the toxic people from my life, the people who wouldn't accept me for who I am, the ones that wanted me to change to fit in with their idea of what is right and acceptable. Those are the people I love from a distance. I don't judge them or dislike them simply because they don't get me. Their music is simply different from mine and that's okay. But I don't have to subject myself to the negativity they bring to my life. Hence why I love them from a distance. By loving them and accepting their differences, I can interact with them without investing myself, and without allowing their judgements and criticism to define or hurt me.

Am I lonely? Sure. Do I hate feeling misunderstood? Absolutely. But I won't end my story. Instead, I will give myself permission to shine and maybe, just maybe, one day I will find my tribe. And so will you! There is only one YOU in the whole, entire universe! That makes you incredibly special. So don't deny the universe your music. You don't know who may need to hear it.

If you liked this piece, please click/tap the heart to drop some love. And if you are feeling especially generous, please do feel free to leave a tip. Your support means the world to me!

Here are some links to more of my mental health poems if you would also like to check them out.