Mess around

he did the, “mess around,”

Oh boy did he get that right

Teeter-tottering just at the brink

Can this last dance tear

Through the mind-numbing holiday Air that left me In a black hole?

Tear through the unending madness

The layered magnetic fields of our past together

That link is to mortality,

A cut off battery that makes me feel sick

Uncharged.

That mess around was

My smoothest one

Thinking about the last time I held you so excruciatingly tight

I thought I was literally falling apart

(When you fell apart)

But you taught me how to love with something deeper than myself

To share that crazy feeling of

That

Mess around

How my endless grief and my anxiety creeps in like an uncontrollable dance

How can I go on when I no longer have you?

I believe you’re always with me

Even though you are not

Now that I share our story of

Mess around

W/ someone new

A string of shower curtains

Tangled up around you, me and him

Like a Christmas wreath

I’ll make us all smooth again.