Maybe I shouldn’t have sent this in a text.

You haven’t called me lately

And I’m starting to think that maybe

There’s easier ways to show me

That you don’t miss when we

Saw each other

Once in awhile

But if you’d prefer

There’s easier ways to defer

You undying hatred of me

Steal all of my left shoes

And

Leave holes in things I use

Turn the lights on when I sleep

Make sure all my shirts have damp sleeves

Call my plants by the wrong names

Cheat the wrong way in games

But I’m telling you

It doesn't matter what you do

I can hear you tone of voice

And the way you step on cracks

Is telling me subconsciously you don’t have my back

I just thought that you should know

There’s better ways you can show

Your undying hatred of me

Turn the temperature to seventy two degrees

When it’s sunny

Make sure my socks have holes

Where the little toe, should go

Vacuum up the birdseed

So the sparrows won’t visit me

Steal all my spare light bulbs, and things in junk drawers,

Like hairbands and miniature philip screwdrivers

Set all of my clocks, seven minutes behind

I promise I won’t, even mind

If you could just tell me please

Why your texts are so brief

And you didn’t wave to me

When I saw at the store last week

It’s getting kind of old

And I certainly could be so bold

So I’m telling you now

Please, oh please

Just release

You undying hatred of me

Call me from unknown numbers

And leave messages telling me

About my car’s extended warranty

Crack the handles off my tea mugs

Fill the cereal boxes with little bugs

Sneak into my house and

Move all of the things on my desk around

Run the sink till there’s no hot water

Put dead batteries in my artificial candles

You’re talking to your other friends

But what can you do to them?

When there’s so many ways for you to express,

Your undying hatred of me

I hope it’s not boring

When there’s so many ways to make my life abhorring

I don’t know what you think I said

And I’m not going to apologize

But I hope you see it in my eyes

How I wish you would just despise

And let me know all about

Your undying hatred of me