Manifestation

Originally published in Impostor Poetry Journal Issue Four

I remember the first time I learned about manifestation.

A friend told me all about A Nightmare on Elm Street.

I had nightmares afterward and to comfort me she said,

Thinking about things is more likely to make them happen.

Yet for the next few years, I shuddered whenever I saw an Elm Street.

I refused to wear red and green together.

I continued to suffer from nightmares

wondering if one may finally kill me.

At 13, I sat in my grandmother’s car during my agoraphobic summer.

I was scared of living and dying.

My brain, in an attempt to comfort me, would say things like

As long as this song doesn't come on the radio, you'll make it out alive.

A few times, that song would come on the radio.

And every hair stood straight up, my spine at acute attention.

No, no, I didn't mean it. I’m not going to die.

Breathe.

I’M NOT GOING TO DIE!

I yelled until my thoughts became hoarse.

The tires crunched the gravel of the driveway.