Love Lessons

"When was it that you unlearned how to love you?"

Somewhere between a 5 year old in lacy socks

and a 15 year old in oversized t-shirts

I attended lessons on how to belittle myself.

Mirrors like whiteboards and an unidentifiable lecturer repeating

"not enough" but also "too much"

Highlighting everything less than perfect about myself

and overlooking the good stuff because that's not what I was going to be quizzed on.

"When was it that you learned to love you again?"

Somewhere between a 15 year old in baggy t-shirts and a 25 year old with a smile I found the restricted section of my own library.

Late night study sessions

in a variety of love languages

speaking slowly to myself to get the dictation right.

I sought out keynotes by experts in forgiveness and finding lights in dark spaces.

The more time I spent in my new field of study,

the more I found like-minded peers, and formed new study groups that posed challenging questions like:

"When was it that you unlearned how to love you?"