Legendary Poetry

Alone: A tale of woe

As I look out onto the cold uncaring world that just doesn't seem to care about me and I wonder,

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Pointless. I continue to ask this pathetic question:

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why"

Why do I even bother asking, "Why?" for deep down inside, I don't want to know the answer to this earth shattering question.

Yes, I say earth shattering

Becase as I look out onto the desolate plains tha is my life I know beyond the shadow of my vast doubt that the answer to my honest question, "why?" will only resort in heartbreak as it will reveal to me the true reason for my loneliness and why I am truly alone in this world.

As I ponder these things, anger and fury pervade my thoughts,

my mind,

my soul,

and my once pure heart.

The corruption of these evil and vile thoughts poison my thoughts and these thoughts poison my inquisitive brain which instructs the inner workings of my body to shut down and usher in a deep depression to stop me in my tracks.

Stop

And a certain blackness shades my eyes to the true beauty that is, or should I say "was," my life.

Was

I shed a tear of sorrow.

Then

I raise my fist in anger

And curse the gods above for tormenting me with a broken mind which has shattered my soul and left me

Shattered and alone

Alone

Alone

alone

And so, using my keen intellect, which has never failed me yet, I prepare my opening statements to curse my very existence.

Your Honor and distinguished members of the jury, let me ask some probing questions so that you may truly understand my point of view, my mindset, and the reason why I am:

Alone.

Single sentences seem appropriate to make my case.

Not so much for you, my intelligent audience, but for me, a total fuck up who is wondering why I am

A fuck up

And

Alone

Alone

alone

Why the fuck do I live in a world that doesn't give a shit about me?

Why do I only have two friends, one of which is too busy to talk to me and the other, well, my loving girlfriend, she does the best she can.

The best she can

Why do people dislike me so? I'm a nice guy.

Sure, I'm a weirdo,

a misfit,

a mentally ill man,

a person who suffers from bipolar disorder,

a genius of sorts,

an imbecile of other sorts,

an innovator,

a creator,

a poet,

a writer,

a novelist,

a man,

a lover,

a humanitarian,

a friend to the homeless,

an outcast,

a pariah,

a fuck up,

and so on ad infinitum.

But I'm basically a decent human being just as much as the next person. At least that's what I think.

A decent man

Maybe I am horribly wrong to think that I am THAT kind of man.

Maybe I am such a total fuck up that people rightly avoid me.

Maybe I have dug my own grave by the things I say and do?

Maybe I have chased the good people in my life away from me because deep down I am an arrogant prick who only cares for myself and myself alone.

And thus, I am rightly alone and rightly depressed because I deserve it.

I shed a single tear at that thought and embolden myself.

"Fuck it," I think.

"Fuck it," I whisper.

"Fuck it," I say out loud.

"FUCK IT!" I yell out even louder.

"fuck me," I cry nearly imperceptibely to myself.

"fuck me"

"fuck me"

"fuck me"

"I'm totally and completely fucked and I only have myself to blame for it," I conclude rationally.

Rationally I conclude

I am

alone

Quiet

Quietly

Shadows on the wall

My only friends

Whispers around me

Tell the truth

In ryhmes they do speak

To this very freak

That I know to well

That I am in hell

Custom and well built

No money spared with good intent

And so here I dwell

In my personal hell

Which I fashioned with hands

All crooked and bent

To ensure that I will be

Totally

Completely

Forsaken and (free?)

Unequivocally

Undeniably

Alone

Alone

alone

I laugh at my cries as the beautiful "concert," or should I say caucophony, or noise raises it's fist

It's iron fish

Inside my ears

All angry hell bent

A rhyme without a reason

Makes all the sense in the world

With torturous blows

On my tender back

Sound the alarm men!

We're under attack!

The stinging of arrows, the piercing of spears

Are only the beginning

Of my real, true fears

The battle wages, rages

Upon in my mind

The bruises and wounds are

Too much for my eyes

And so here I stand

Or barely this much is true

My riend, my truhero

My enemy mine

The one that I trust

You're all I can find

And here you are right now

In front of me

That person you wonder

That person is me

I'm made up of muscles

And sinews and bones

And here stands your brave night

So deeply alone

Alone

Alone

alone

a

l

o

n

e

I lift up a prayer

To some higher power

"Who are you," I ask

On some ivory tower

Do you even hear me

Way up in the sky

Does my pointless babble?

Is it worth a try?

Am I just saying

Words to no one

Are my brave efforts

Heard by no one?

Are my words pointless

Like I think they are?

Is there no power?

Have I reached my final hour?

So if I am true

That you do not care

That my best true efforts

Get me nowhere

Is my destination

That place where I go

Taking me finally

To my grave so cold

A thought pitifully so

All I can tell you

From the places I've roamed

Is that I have arrived home

My dwelling, my domicile

My bed I have made it

Yes, I am alone

And here I will stay