Legendary Poetry

Normal

I wish that I was normal.

Likeeeveryoneelseis.

Totallyandcompletelylikeyou.

Perfectineveryway.

But I am NOT!

I am NOT normal!

And I never will be. I don’t fit into your “world.”

I am a misfit.

A weirdo.

I mentally ill degenerate WHO is not capable of functioning in the “real’ world as you do.

I do not belong here.

Maybe I belong on Mars, or Jupiter whoever you spell it. I DON’T know because apparently I don’t fit in here.

With your rules, your mores, your rules, your customs, your this or that ad infinitum and so on and so on and so on and so on.

You see, I have a brain that is defective.

That’s what a respectable and highly trained “doctor” once told me.

If I only would place two diodes on each of the sides of my temples they would execute me.

No, that isn’t right.

They would push a RED button that would gently electrocute me to an excruciating and painful experience that would make me normal again, and they reasoned quietly and patiently, “isn’t that what you want?”

“To be normal?

Normal just like ‘US’?

To enjoy a Bud LIght and watch a football game with your good buddies?

Wouldn’t that be ‘wonderful’?

“Your life will be so much better and you won’t even know that you are ‘MENTALLY ILL’ again for you ‘EnTiRe LiFe!’

Isn’t that what you really and TrUly WaNt?’ TrUSt Me I aM a DoCtOr and I aM FoRmArLy and ExTeSiVeViLy TrAiNeD! TrUsT me! I kNow WhAt’S bEsT fOr YoU!”

You know what DoCtOr, Fuck the fuck OFF! You don’t know what’s best for me!

You just want my money and ALL of it!

Oh yeah! Place those diodes on my temple and erase my memories and make me just like EVERYONE else!

That’s exactly what I want.

No memories of who I REALLY am and NO trace of what makes me TRULY me!

Go ahead, erase my memories, my experiences, my everything of who I am, my personality, my thoughts, my reasons to live, my most fond memories, my everything because you’re right, having those things removed from my ExIsTaNacNcE will cure me of all my ailments and my MeNtaL iLlNeSs.

What’s that you say? You didn’t understand what I just said? Okay, I will say it more clearly for you to understand me properly.

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MENTAL ILLNESS

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MENTAL ILLNESS

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MENTAL ILLNESS

SHOULD I SAY IT AGAIN?

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MENTAL ILLNESS

AND YOU NEVER WILL

Instead, you want to charge up your medical device and put lubricated diodes to the left and right areas of my temporal lobes and position, exactly as you are expertly educated and highly trained to do so, the carefully crafted device designed to clear my maladies and negative memories, along with all other memories that I might have whether good or bad, but it doesn’t really matter in the end, does it ‘doctor’, and cure me of the scars and wounds of my pitiful life.

Yes! Yes! Yes! That’s EXACTLY what I want ‘doctor’! I trust you implicitly to erase my pains, trials, tribulations, hurts, crimes, sins, misdemeanors, and felonies from my pathetic, mentally ill life.

Go ahead execute me! I mean, ‘TREAT’ me because I believe that you will ‘heal’ me’ me with the current of electricity running through my fragile brain and ‘correcting’ the negative and ‘incorrectly positioned’ aspects of my sinews and synapses of my corrupt brain.

I trust you as if you were my beloved mother.

Please, like a caring mother nourish me and make me anew.

Please parent this hopeless soul.

And heal me

And heal me

And heal me

And "pray" for me

And "pray" for me

And "pray" for me

Ad Infinitum

Etc, etc, etc

But I really know that I’m really just a number to you, doctor. You don’t REALLLLLLLY care about me. You just want to brag to your ‘esteemed’ colleagues about how you ‘cured’ yet another mentally ill patient, a person who was unknown out of ‘privacy’s’ sake for the protection of the ‘said’ patient.

“At the ‘end’ of the day,” you surmise, “I did what’s best for the patient,” your brag arrogantly as your ‘esteemed’ colleagues worship the ground you stand on.

And so on…

And so on…

And so on…

And fuck you

Yes

Fuck you

And all that you believe in

And stand for

With your fancy degrees

And you honors and medals

That you use to belittle

Poor simple folk like me

And so I will take your medicine as prescribed with the correct dosages because what I really want is…

Just to be normal.

Like you.