It’s a story you’ve heard of, so many times, you’ve gotten sick of it

I keep thinking I’m going through a long corridor

A long, winding road

Each step I take has been hard,

It has not been easier.

It has only gotten so much worse.

So much harder.

So much foggier.

So much darker.

I can’t seem to find the light at all.

I don’t know if I even want that light anymore for how much darkness I’ve had to drench myself in, the river of my stories deepening my cataclysmic epilogue; it’s not the end because

There’s been no beginning.

My condolences; you’ve been down this road, past your life in a flashing way that feels like you can’t ever get to where everyone else is.

Everyone is welcoming you,

With a smile that is well-worn and “subscribed,”

To your perspective,

But subtly, they push you away,

Thinking their smiles will keep you satisfied.

I am not satisfied

I-am-lonely, lonely in rooms full of others. I am always

drawing out/fleshing out these people that I love dearly (stoking fires of my heart—-recreating the ones I love most in fictional scenes)

And knowing that I will visit and revisit

Them,

Knowing this long and winding corridor

I keep walking down, will never truly end.

It’s invisible, like I am.

Everyone else gets to be colorfully loud/I am small.

I love to be small/not unheard.

I’m invisible, and I’ll always be there,

Like a visible ghost,

Walking and trudging along,

Looking for an

Expiration that can never occur,

To a story that never should’ve been written.

I’m walking

I keep going

I am walking

I can’t keep up with my heart(breaking)beat

pah-BUMP(repeat)

You can’t speak about it

But you feel it gushing out of you,

A long, underused word (like that corridor, road)

That is so annoying pretentious, weak and stupid

And when it’s heard, it feels like you just want everyone to say,

“There there, it’ll be okay”

Just to get you to shut up.

So, I do.

And I keep going.

Going down that endless road, waiting for that star that is the sun.