I Wish I Could Forget

I wish I could forget.

Just so I could meet you all over again.

To experience your soul for the very first time.

To relive my happiest moments.

My most comforting memories.

My safest place.

I wish I could forget.

To see your smile for the first time.

To feel my face when I heard you laugh.

To feel my heart skip a beat when we held hands.

To smell the fragrance of your hair as we sat in silence on the couch.

To feel the weight of your head on my lap while you slept.

I wish I could forget.

More than that I wish I never knew.

I wish I never knew the pain of you walking away for the last time.

The cuts in my spirit from the knives your words threw.

Or the depth of the hole in my heart when you left.

I wish I never knew the amount of contempt I could hold for one person.

Or the heaviest weight of my burden before I would collapse.

The feeling of grieving someone who is alive and living a life I envy.

Maybe I should be happy one of us survived.

But I wish I could forget.