I’m not an empath

Our relationship

Was never real,

It was an idea

It was a fiction

It was a fantasy

That we created around lies

You said that you loved me

And I said I loved you back

But I didn’t

I lied to you

And I lied to myself

How could I let myself lie about something so dire?

About something so sensitive?

Part of that was true though

I did love you,

Platonically

Never romantically

But it's quite hard really,

To distinguish the two apart

It’s a dangerous game

Because you can’t just go around

Saying the L word

Which is the mistake I made

I did just that

I went around saying the L word

And I hurt you

And I didn’t even realize it

I was so unfazed by our breakup

That it made me realize

How much I had to force myself to like you

And how much you cared for me

So effortlessly

Like it came naturally to you

And I exploited that out of you

Which I will admit was wrong of me

But it felt wrong of you

To pile all of those big L feelings into me

It felt unnatural

It felt uncomfortable

And I let you pour your everything out

Only to watch it wash down the drain with ease

I stuck a knife through your full heart

And twisted it with a sick grin

Doing nothing but watch what was once

Become never again

I’m not an empath

I never understood how you could’ve liked me so much

And I still don’t

But I think that’s okay

Because you pushed me to become better

And I pushed you to find better

And we both got what we wanted in the end

We just did it,

In the worst way possible.