I Hate You Sometimes, My Love

Sometimes you are hard to love

Making me wish I could admire and love you from afar

But I can’t

Because of our type of union and the years we’ve been through

Somedays you seem to understand my flaws

And other days they’re the reason you’re sick and tired

You ask me to be open up to you

Only for you to stab me, using my mistakes as your dagger

Striping me naked

Repeating my tales, I hate to tell

Keeping bookmarks on chapters I hope never to read

Sometimes you are hard to love

Because you don’t realise the parts of me

That probably make it hard to love me

Mirror yours

Are we hypocrites? Hating ourselves in each other

You are hard to love sometimes

Because nothing is ever good enough

It’s always should’ve, could’ve, must’ve and but

But I did it with all my heart

Most days you appreciate what I did

And others you slam it into the wall

And tell me others are doing it better

Maybe it’s constructive criticism and I am just self-destructive

Sometimes you spit venom on me

Even though you know I'm not immune

Sometimes I return the favor

We go back and forth

Till I’m tired

And you win

You always win

I let you win

I’ve started playing along

Playing the game of “Let’s see who will apologize first”

And no one does

Its a tie

On days when our pride has taken some days off

We do apologize

But we both backhandedly accept the apology

Why are we like this?

I hate that I want to hurt you sometimes

How can I love and hate someone all at the same time

It must be that thin line that starting to look invisible

It's hard to love you

Because I can't help but think

You have no choice but to love me

Like you’re stuck with me

Like you wish I was someone else

Trust me when I say

I wish I could dress up for you

Dressing up as all the characters you wished I was

But it would be exhausting

And I’m already exhausted

However, I love you more than I hate you

I love you, I always say this

You don’t respond or Tell me I’m lying

And sometimes I wish I was

I’m sorry Im not your cup of tea

But you have to take sips and gulps

Because I am what’s currently in stock

I guess its true what they say “The hardest to love are the hardest to leave”

And I know I’m hard to love too…