“home”

I miss the sense of what it felt like to be home,

at one point it was sitting between my mother and father,

muzzled next to them,

young and oblivious to what the world had to offer,

before all the trauma we’d endure,

the childhood home fell to the ground,

father drowning himself in whiskey,

mom driving away drunken in madness and guilt,

i found myself at home again with my first love,

under the stars,

discussing our fucked up lives,

admist the walls coming to close,

the love was always there.

holding myself together,

breaking when i was left alone.

“home”

sold to strangers,

never got to say goodbye,

despair.

10 years of memories,

now a home for a new family,

“home”

such an interesting word you see,

all different perspectives and meanings,

it can be a house,

or a feeling,

or somewhere you do not want to go,

or somewhere you are longing to find.

I have yet to find out what the word means,

have I felt like I belong in this infinite universe?

I dream of being somewhere that I do not yet know,

to feel free,

the earth gently kissing my cheek as I lay down in the unknown,

to feel the warmth of the moons light,

behold the day that I can say I have reached home.

maybe,

home was taking my little sister as my own,

making her feel the safety I craved,

maybe,

home was dancing around a field with my best friend,

wine drunk and music distantly playing,

freeing me of the problems I did not want to face,

maybe home is the sense of belonging,

regardless of who is considered friend or foe,

I simply do not yet know,

but,

I am hopeful someday soon I will.