her sweet deceit
#abecedarian challenge
apathetic silence, that sly seductress
beguiling the masses with her
clever lack of responsibility, her sweet
deceit precluding human decency; an
evolution of nothing making promises with
fine print typed in bold; yet shallow
graves flood with helpless souls
hounded by her siren's song, absorbing an
indifference that sinks below life's epidermis,
jealous only of the phantom touch she brings.
knowing release from cares and woes
lies within surrender where a void of
motivation keeps her prey, tucked away, cocooned. each
numbing embrace draws her silky strands tighter.
oblivion beckons as pleasures and
passions wane until
quality of life is just an empty turn of phrase.
rusted words, oxidized by emotional erosion,
sharp edges, smoothed and muted by the
technicolor world she swathes in gray
ushering in an anesthetic stupor.
vivacity stifled by inexplicable fatigue; her
wicked wiles hold them close enough to suffocate,
x-rated and completely obscene.
yet on the outside, the hollow facade remains
zealously concealed by her dysfunction.
Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Comments (21)
Amazing
Ooh I love this. Beautiful word choices - “oxidised by emotional erosion” was just one of my favourites. Nicely done!
Wicked, vile outrageous zealous dysfunction, all make for dark and lovely poems.
Such a lovely read! Amazing poem and a great submission to the Abecedarian challenge! If you get the chance to check mine out I would be very grateful for feedback! ♥️
This was amazing. It flowed so perfectly you wouldn’t even know it was following parameters. “Fine print typed in bold, yet shallow” was one of my favorite lines. “Rusted words oxidized by emotional erosion” what a visual! And of course one of the toughest lines for all these challenges “x-rated and completely obscene” was an unexpected direction and x word but I loved it! Such a great job with this!
Looks like you had a visit with the Word Gods when you wrote this one. So many carefully crafted lines! Well done!
Very powerful beautiful poem!
You did this so well. The endings, the use of x and z, are what decides if an entry will sink or swim and you just swam the English Channel. Beautiful, breathtaking poem
What a powerful poem. My favorite lines were “beguiling the masses with her / clever lack of responsibility”, although it was hard to pick a favorite pair overall. Very well done.
Yep, some days are just like this. (I've just gone through two of them back to back myself.)
"rusted words, oxidized by emotional erosion". This line hit me so hard! Like whoaaaa! It took my breath away! Your poem was so poignant and hauntingly beautiful!
HEATHER! I second L.C.'s comment! There were so many lines within this poem that stole my breath, but I was most rapt by this one: "oblivion beckons as pleasures and passions wane until quality of life is just an empty turn of phrase." UGH! Destroyed me in the best way possible! I'm gushing over it!
Well done
Tricky to pick a favourite line, but I think it's this one: "rusted words, oxidized by emotional erosion,"
Wow this packed a puch. "making promises with fine print typed in bold: Beautifully constructed and the ABC structure was done perfectly 🤍
Well done. Bravo!
This is incredibly beautiful. Well done once again, my friend.
What a dramatic and beautiful poem!
Excellent work. My first thought was heroin but a reread spread the possibilities wide.
Oh Heather this one is superb. Describing apathetic silence as “an evolution of nothing making promises with fine print typed in bold” was pure genius. I loved every line!
Great job! This was fiercely provocative and well written. Good luck on the challenge!