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Grocery Memes

My secret obsession.

By Lamar WigginsPublished 3 months ago Updated 3 months ago 1 min read
23
Bing Dall E

Written for the Sleepy Drafts, Eavesdropping Challenge. Details below.

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Pushing the cart through endless aisles

I encounter frowns and creepy smiles.

I’m there to replenish an empty fridge,

But can’t help but to hear your whiny kids.

They want everything within their reach.

Bring blindfolds next time so the brats can’t see!

And then, there is the grumpy old man,

who scolds his wife for forgetting the "dam ham!"

While reaching for a can of antiquated peas,

the guy in front of me let’s off a lethal sneeze.

Everyone stops to look in his direction.

He didn’t cover up the potential Covid infection.

Carts scramble along in opposite ways,

sharing comments of disgust while continuing their gaze.

I laugh inside at his honest mistake,

whatever else in that aisle will just have to wait.

Only six things left on my list to manage,

when all I can hear in the background is Spanish.

I know a little, but is spoken too fast.

Pollo for chicken and Culo for ass.

Next, I head to my favorite, the bakery.

Two women are arguing, one throws a steak at me.

It lands in my cart, thank God for this.

It was something I needed so I crossed it off the list.

Just a normal day here at the local grocery store,

I might even linger so I can hear some more...

whispers and laughter and even some howling

Sadly, my fun is over, my stomach is growling.

**

Ciao! or is it, Chow?

By Clark Young on Unsplash

Thanks for stopping by! 😍

humor
23

About the Creator

Lamar Wiggins

Creative writer in the Northeast US who loves the paranormal, mystery, true crime, horror, humor, fantasy and poetry. Take a chance, you'll be thoroughly entertained.

"Life is Love Experienced" -LW

LDubs

Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

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  1. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  2. Easy to read and follow

    Well-structured & engaging content

  3. Expert insights and opinions

    Arguments were carefully researched and presented

  1. Eye opening

    Niche topic & fresh perspectives

  2. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

  3. Masterful proofreading

    Zero grammar & spelling mistakes

  4. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  5. On-point and relevant

    Writing reflected the title & theme

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Comments (19)

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  • Tiffany Gordon 2 months ago

    Fun & Fabulous! 😁

  • That was awesome, well done my friend

  • Kelsey Clarey2 months ago

    This is so clever! Blindfolding the kids seems like a great idea haha

  • Novel Allen2 months ago

    Oh my OMG....the sneeze and cough...ugh. This was so well described, going into places where there are people doing annoying people things. You captured the mood so well.

  • L.C. Schäfer3 months ago

    Fun and clever, well done 😁

  • Heather Hubler3 months ago

    As someone that is always in a store, I loved the humor and how I could just picture these things happening. Great answer to the challenge!

  • Babs Iverson3 months ago

    Humorously written and loved the ending!!!!

  • Fantastically humorous Lamar. Excellent work!!!

  • Shirley Belk3 months ago

    Lamar, this was great! Hope your steak was good...glad you didn't get the chicken a**. I always want to take earplugs in stores because of bratty kids. Their behavior is really faulty parenting, though.

  • D. J. Reddall3 months ago

    Clever and irascible without bitterness! Nice work!

  • Blindfolding kids might just be the most brilliant thing ever! Lamar, please make every parent follow this, pretty please 🥺🥺 Loved your poem!

  • I believe it's both, & this was delightful, just so much fun, Lamar!

  • sleepy drafts3 months ago

    Omg!!!! Lamar, I love this!!! This is so creative, fun, and wonderfully done. Thank you so much for writing this and entering it into the sleepy mission!! 💗💓💗

  • Mark Gagnon3 months ago

    That's why my wife does the shopping and I do other stuff around the house. I can't stand stores. Funny poem!

  • Jazzy 3 months ago

    This was such a fun poem! Very well done, and the word play and choice was fabulous!

  • John Cox3 months ago

    This is cleverly done. It is both a very authentic slice of life and very funny. I laughed several times while reading it, especially at Pollo for chicken and culo for ass! Great storytelling!

  • Cathy holmes3 months ago

    Haha. That's hilarious. Nice catch on the steak. 🤣

  • Test3 months ago

    It's a reminder to find humor in the everyday moments, even when they're filled with frustrations and inconveniences. Thanks for sharing this entertaining piece!

  • Hayley Matto3 months ago

    Fun take on this challenge Lamar! Definitely had some laughs reading this well done universal experience capture! So fun!! 😂

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