Good-bye January

Day 31/366 days of writing pieces in 2024.

Yesterday I said out loud to a client,”If January were a man I wouldn’t date him.” I then posted that on social media and the comments made me laugh and inspired this poem to wrap up the month.

If January were a man I wouldn’t date him. It’s cold and quiet and everyone is hunkered down left with remorseful spending from December. How fun is that?

If January were a man I wouldn’t date him. Icy roads that cause near death experiences. No one is drinking wine because they’ve all gone dry. People being brainwashed into setting goals that don’t line up to cyclical nature. How fun is that?

If January were a man I wouldn’t date him. One day it’s 4° with the windchill factor and a week later a record high of 80°!? Completely unstable. Completely reckless. Should I make soup or eat ceviche? I have no idea what’s going on. Red flags everywhere. How fun is that?

If January were a man I wouldn’t date him. Businesses closed to regroup and rest and renovate. There’s less places to wander and discover. Everyone is moving slow and lethargic and feeling hum drum. How fun is that?

If January were a man I wouldn't date him. The days are short, the nights are long, and the darkness seems to linger. It's a time of hibernation and introspection, not exactly the recipe for excitement and adventure. How fun is that?

If January were a man I wouldn't date him. The resolutions made in haste now weigh heavy on our shoulders. The pressure to change and improve is overwhelming, leaving little room for spontaneity and joy. How fun is that?

If January were a man I wouldn't date him. The world is quiet and still, as if holding its breath for the promise of spring. It's a time of waiting and longing, a season of patience and anticipation. Who wants to be in a relationship where you’re constantly saying,”Can we get on with it already?” How fun is that?

If January were a man I wouldn't date him. The holiday cheer has faded, replaced by a subtle melancholy. The magic of the season has waned, leaving behind a sense of emptiness and boredom. How fun is that?

If January were a man I wouldn’t date him. I’ve got 99 layers and my swimsuit ain’t one. I feel like the Michelin man. It takes too long to get out of clothes. I have to be responsible for gloves and things that are hard to keep track of. How fun is that?

Let’s see what February does.