Destroyed, utterly and completely.
I want you to look at me as though
Separating drives you to delirious distraction.
The thought of us being apart so foreign that it brings you to
Ruin over and over again in a manic fit.
Anger and affection, battling for dominance; an obsessive
Compulsion
Too great to possibly overcome. The only fix
Is a hit from my mouth, my body, my mind.
Only the truth creeps in unwelcomed to expose meโyou and I will
Never be. You already have her.
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Compelling and original writing
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Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
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More stories from Heather Hubler and writers in Poets and other communities.
Quoth
Unnoticed, the clock struck into the next day. Before my eyes, as midnight came and went, the words on the pages over which I poured blurred together. Meaningless under my over-tired gaze, they looped around themselves, slowly winding lines of text twisting themselves into knots as I watched, barely awake enough to do more than notice the change.
By Alexander McEvoy2 days ago in Fiction
Comments (25)
This is written with brutal truthfulness. Sometimes, we don't come to terms with the depth of our loss until it is too late!
That last line!!! ๐ Beautiful work, well done! X
Lovely ๐ฅฐ but not as Lovely as youโค๏ธโ๐ฅ๐ซต๐พ
Ummmm, so why am I not surprised that we somehow both went the dashed love route with this challenge? Love your poem, Soul Sister!
https://vocal.media/families/captivating-cats-exploring-the-diverse-world-of-feline-beauty
amazing keep it up
Ooh so raw and powerful. I loved the language you used in this! Phenomenal writing!
Very well written. This piece is flawless. The last line "you already have her" got to me.
Gorgeous lines, Heather! They pulled me in, their melody, and the sad ending just worked so well. I really loved your line breaks too; true, the acrostic form was helping, haha, but you used it to your advantage here. Great read.๐
Wow! This is so good!
Oh, the passionate longing for someone just beyond our reach. But if all of a sudden they were accessible to us, would we want them so much? Or is it the knowledge that they are unavailable which makes them seem so appealing.
Ooooo! This was good Heather! I was not ready for the twist at the end! So smart! I love the story you told and how it seemed to just unfold naturally! Nicely done!
Ohhh OUCH! I think we have surely all felt this, and you painted it magnificently โค
This reminded me of the guy who left me 10 years ago. The one who I'm still not completely over. Do you by any chance have a CCTV in my brain, lol. I resonated deeply with this! Loved it so much my fear friend!
Awesome work, Heather. Not seen you around these parts for a couple of days and then you bring the fire! I felt it all. The ending was the gut kicker though!
Unrequited love is a bitch. Such feelings of longing coming through in the form of the narrator wanting their feelings to be mirrored by the one they adore. But they never even notice. Because theyโre happy with someone else. The last line ties the bow. Well done emulating those feelings so well. I hope itโs not because youโve experienced them.
I felt the longing ,and then the end
Awesome & loved it!!!๐๐๐
Woah!!! I tumbled right into that one. Great entry, Heather. ๐
This is just like looking inside the mind of a woman who is in love with someone who is spoken for. I enjoyed being able to relate to every word you wrote. It's like 'I like you but how can I be with you when you are taken?' it's a very compelling peace
Deep...
Your work always surprises me with how good you are. There was so much in this despair, resolve, strength, resignation and so much more. Well done Heather.
This is beast mode finality. Sharpness and cutting and that accusation at the end, que Emeril and Bam! Great work!
Oh my God. You've outdone yourself with this, my friend. Fantastic. That ending is like a kick in the stomach.
Ooooh! That's feisty. You go, girl! Loved it. I'm glad you're still writing cos we've not seen you for a few days. โบ๏ธ๐๐