Foolishness over Control

Why can't feelings be controlled?

Control in the sense that I

can dictate who my heart falls for.

~

So many times the gut feeling hits

or the eyes catch the subtle hints

and my mind will just know... you

don't share the same sentiments.

~

Yet I continue down road,

max speed, even though I'm fully aware

the pavement ends at an expansive ocean.

~

Truly putting thought into it,

I am a sucker for the pretty thing called "fate".

A simple faith that an other-worldly... something

has created someone who could love me

in all my strange habits and twisted views.

~

Blinded by romance stories, my heart

is continually driven to ruins but my fallacies

are another conversation for another time.

~

Having command to just... stop.

No longer being guided by love

and no longer drowning in the pool

called Romance? Infatuation? Passion?

Love? That sounds like a dream.

~

But will the emptiness left in its wake

hurt more than just experiencing heartbreak?

People do say that ignorance is bliss but also

that curiosity killed the cat and yet, why

does death sound more tempting than ignorance?

~

It's silly, I'm aware, that the same person

who wanted to have autonomy over feelings

would still fall for the same mistakes

even after all the excuses because just maybe...

there'll finally be a "you" that will break

the clouds and let the sun into the bleak world.

~

So let me fall time and time again

like the fool who never learns.

Chasing that something or well

in this case someone, wherever

they are, until they appear

like a miracle and stand by me

in all my scars and with all

the baggage that follows behind

as we look at each other and just

smile happily in love.