My first love was
A captivated gaze
Ravelling around me
Caressing my skin with
Featherlight fingers at
A time when only
Spiderwebbed corners
Offered me conversation
❀
My first love was
His laughter bottled up
In the space behind my ribs
Everyone and everything else
Evaporating into a smoky
Backdrop to frame his face
❀
My first love was
Miniscule moments
Painted lavishly
(If not delusionally)
In my mind
A splatter of light
Transformed into
A constellation of stars
A curl of his lips
Turned into the
Ocean's greatest wave
❀
My first love was
Just my first heartbreak
Dressed in brighter clothing
Nights absent of sleep
Eyes without assurances
Smiles missing happiness
And something like self-doubt
Bubbling up beneath my skin
Twisting and writhing in my
Stomach
❀
My first heartbreak was
An introduction to apocalypses
A navigation of torment and
A discovery of mosaics
❀
It was ink stained hands
Pressing pen against paper
Watching in confusion as
The words turned to ointment
Soothing the wounds nobody else
Felt the need to
It was letters coming together
To create a poet where once
Had sat a lonely lover
❀
My first love was
The boy whose stare
Connected with my own
And my first heartbreak was
The same person who looked away
Just a short moment after
❀
You were the soft spots
On my heart that soon
Turned callous
The storm that left
Almost as soon as it arrived
❀
You were the
Almost irreparable belief
That I was not enough
(And never would be)
❀
Now you are
The piece of my past
That I can look at without
Reaching out and wondering
How it would fit into my present
(It wouldn't)
❀
My first love and heartbreak
Was my oldest muse
The first one to turn
My words to magic
❀❀❀❀❀
The Original:
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Whispers of Wisdom: Words to Warm Your Golden Years
Dear friend, Life is indeed unpredictable and the more one grows the more focused one becomes on what discourages. But while learning people should always keep in mind that if one clings to the past they will only drag their burdens with them through life.
By Emily Chan - Life and love sharing5 days ago in Poets
Comments (11)
writing skills are truly impressive
This is a gorgeous piece. I especially enjoyed these parts: "You were the Almost irreparable belief That I was not enough (And never would be)" & "My first love and heartbreak Was my oldest muse The first one to turn My words to magic" This poem is so poignant and relatable; it quite literally takes my breath away.
Oh that first love, I feel like we have many first loves. Very well written!
My first love was The boy whose stare Connected with my own And my first heartbreak was The same person who looked away Just a short moment after This stanza! Omggggg! I just cannotttttt. It was just so relatable! You captured my heart again with this poem!
This is magnificent and poignant at the same time! Gorgeously written, too! I felt every word you wrote, as I have experienced something very similar. That kind of love teaches us a lot, doesn't it?
Those early infatuations that prepare our hearts less for romantic fantasies & more to be open for the fullness of true love. Ah, but they are painful & heartbreaking.
this is so beautiful and something many of us have lived. Emotions put to words.
This is beyond good! It touched me deeply and I just love the ending.
The difference between these is quite significant! I see more metaphors, more depth behind the words in this version. Your original felt raw, though, honest in a different way than this one. I love this rewrite. Also, you are fantastic at rewriting; I admire how you keep the original’s structure and subject, while adding in their influences over your writing, the first muse. My favorite part: “A discovery of mosaics ❀ It was ink stained hands Pressing pen against paper Watching in confusion as The words turned to ointment…” 👏👏👏
I love the imagery here - the way the world forms a frame for the lover, the wave, so powerful, when its just a smile to anyone else, the callouses - useful, toughening, never again soft and smooth.
Great poem! Beautifully written!