faking normalcy

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a week ago i started a new job

once again, a job that takes me away from myself and what i love

a job that didn’t require me to formally train my brain

didn't require me much experience

and is paying me above the minimum wage

and i know i should be happy and feeling blessed

because i won't have to do much to get paid

on top of all, i'm working from home

i don't have to worry about wearing nice clothes

or putting on make up or driving

the dream, right?

yet, today after finding out how much i'll get paid after "working" for 7 days

(and i say "working" because it's still training period)

i actually felt sad and offended

i'll be making more money than my mother

and she's an educator

i'll be making more money than all my previous jobs

and i've been many things before

i'll be getting paid a ridiculous amount for attending calls

and i'm not minimising the work

i'll be responsible for sensitive information

and i'll be dealing with old sick humans

but it's just how weirdly the world works what bothers me

to know i'll probably never make half of that salary through only my art

to know my mother has been a teacher for over 20 years

and still doesn't get paid fairly

to know how undervalued i am as an artist

how no actual laws have my back as a creator

how there are no spaces for me and my peers

to safely exist, express ourselves and cover basic needs

how we struggle to earn fair money

while doing what makes us genuinely happy

but how rewarded i'll be

for playing

for a capitalistic team