Employee of the Month

you might think your life is bad

how bad does it have to be?

it could be so much worse

instead, you could be me

I work at my local sex shop

twelve lonely hours a day

I’m not there cause I like it

I’m only there for the pay

the role that I provide

is somewhat quite unique

a position never advertised

you won’t find it searching Seek

my gag reflex has evolved

but it took a bloody while

slowly I became dead inside

I’ve forgotten how to smile

I have a peculiar look on my face

and a funny smell on my clothes

I clean up after the grotty perverts

that wack off in the peep shows

I clean the splooge off video screens

I wipe filthy yoghurt off the seat

I scrape trouser gravy off the walls

after the beating of the meat

I am the peep show jizz mopper

cleaning up the nectar of choad

wiping up your carnal spills and drips

after each and every load

cleaning up the detritus of your joy

sponging baby batter off the door

removing all traces of population paste

mopping erectoplasm off the floor

I’m the bloke that comes in after

you’ve just had a wank

I swear I’ve seen more spoof

than a teller at the sperm bank

I move slowly from booth to booth

mop in hand mouth tightly closed

sometimes they just need a quick wipe

sometimes they need to be hosed

yeah man I can sympathise

I do……… I feel your need

but it’s me the silly bugger

that has to wipe up YOUR spent seed