Eddies

Dear Eddies,

With you in my veins,

I feel I can do anything,

I go from unmotivated and mentally vacated,

to motivationally medicated,

The daunting tasks sat before me at sun set,

have turned into a list of projects ready to be met,

I feel inspired, sensation by the simplicity around me,

Instead of the of lapsing of time that is following,

I no longer live in my head,

No longer am driven to avoid my bed,

Because with you, I feel free,

No longer carrying the heaviness and obligation life sets on me,

I can sit here and write,

A place my brain comes to life,

I can dance without feeling the aches in my hips,

and not get clouded down by who I miss,

For once, I have an appetite,

For once food isn't a fight,

Maybe they are driven by cravings versus healthy decisions,

But I can taste every flavor without food having to be a mission,

I can be in the moment,

By myself or surrounded in commotion,

For a long while, I felt guilty about my draw to you,

labels attached to you being a lazy and unmotivated noose,

That it is a problem wanting you to lift the weight off my shoulders,

Put a halt to pushing up those boulders,

I don't like the idea of needing you,

Or how often I want to feel you,

I don't want to ever be in a stage of codependence,

With you being the variable that's independent,

So, I add boundaries,

Times where you are able to be,

But I have seen you coming around to places you have never been,

Making uncomfortable situations, easier in the moment,

Though you are the reason behind making life, once again seem so bright,

The next day my mind is hazy, with foggy memories to hold on by,

You sometimes have me falling deeper into my mind,

Separating me away from the present times,

When I am not with you,

Thinking how you will make me feel better soon,

I can't say every time I reach for your touch,

I am feeling up to enough,

But you're there,

A mental and physical hug that can't be compared,

You are the movement behind every one of my sensations,

You let me be a relaxed version of who I am,

I love our time together,

Our experiences,

Our new tastebuds discovered,

Our impromptu makings of a story,

Our several endeavors for ice cream,

Making my life seem, like I am on a movie screen,

Falling in love with the lightness of life again,

The soft sensations of touch on my skin,

The colors in the sky seeming more saturated,

Elimination on what always seems so complicated,

You get me through tough nights,

You held on with me when surrounded by lies,

You have been good for me,

But I worry about my dependency, to you,

I wouldn't say we are unhealthy,

But my desire for you no longer qualifies as stealthy,

And here in a few weeks,

It will be a while before we meet, again,

You will be missed,

There will be times I will desire to be kissed by you,

I will be experiencing so much new,

Without you,

But I hope I can find the connection of laughter,

Easy interactions with fun shared after's,

Find simplistic joy without being attached to you,

We will meet again soon,

Half a year older, maybe someone new,

But I am thankful, thus far, for all the good times spent with you!