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Dear Mr. Green Bean

For Paul and Donna

By Emma Kate ColemanPublished 11 months ago 1 min read
5
By Emma Kate Coleman (July 16, 2023)

Dear Mr. Green Bean,

-

We get along now, but it wasn't always that way.

With ache I remember our first and worst day.

-

I think Mom dumped you into a pan from a can.

Thank heavens you weren't paired with bacon or ham.

-

Lord knows what else we had for dinner that night.

But you, the required veggie, served quite the fright.

-

I cleared my plate of all but your yuck,

a pile of string mush in a puddle of muck.

-

I refused to eat you, to Mom's weary dread.

"Don't get up 'til they're gone," she shook her finger and said.

-

I didn't roll my eyes and pick up my fork.

Instead I cried, praying for mercy in the morgue.

-

But Mom had something more foul planned.

She scraped out of her chair and grabbed my hand,

-

took me to the mud room, by the laundry and cat scat,

and she set my plate on top of the dusty shoe rack.

-

Ordered to sit there on the floor and eat you,

I bawled as I swallowed green strings and muck juice.

-

But I have to forgive you, Mr. Green Bean.

What happened between us wasn't as obscene

-

as what happened years later, down basement stairs wobbly,

where my sister was sent to eat Mr. Broccoli.

-

Please accept my apology, Mr. Green Bean.

Despite your strings, you don't deserve the latrine.

-

But though I ingest you now with more ease,

at the end of the day, I'd rather eat Mr. Pea.

-

Yours tolerantly,

A grown woman

-

This poem was written in response to the personal challenge issued by Paul Stewart and Donna Renee: "Write a poem (or letter or song or whatever) to your least favorite food."

humor
5

About the Creator

Emma Kate Coleman

An overworked hard news journalist seeking creativity and community. Lover of dogs, antique stores and homemade bread. Thrift queen and photography peasant. Happy to be here. :)

"Write hard and clear about what hurts." - Ernest Hemingway

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Comments (4)

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  • Jazzy 9 months ago

    Wow, I always loved green beans but I can see why you don’t 😭😖

  • Leslie Writes10 months ago

    Oh no! That would put anyone off of green beans. It's all in the preparation and presentation. LOL Love the poem and the black and white pic sets the mood perfectly.

  • Naomi Gold10 months ago

    This had a totally different vibe than the other “entries” in the yucky food challenge, and I love it! I did one too, but took it down because it didn’t fit in with the others haha. I love your photography too. All canned vegetables are disgusting. They’re too mushy. I remember my Nana’s green beans fresh from the garden, as they should be!

  • Oh my gosh, this brought back some memories of my own childhood. Green beans were my nemesis! lol This is incredibly well written, Emma. "Mr. Green Bean" . . . I love it!

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