Dear God,

Dear God,

Thank you for this gorgeous day and waking me to it. Please take this pain away or please give me the strength to endure it. My life has been like the Holy Bible, it has books of verses that run through it.

Thank you, God, for the bounty that I am about to receive. Please take this stigma away or please give them the open mind to see. I am the “big one,” if they only knew that I go days without eating.

Thank you, God, for all the sacrifices made on my behalf. Please take this selfishness away; I should be happy with what I have.

Thank you, God, for protecting me, keeping the enemy at bay. Please take this fear away or please give me courage to be heard today. Most did not like me being logical, but speaking with emotion has ruined so many days.

Thank you, God, for having mercy on my soul. Please fill this void, for again I long to feel whole. We have so much to be grateful; yet the world is so cold.

Thank you, God, for loving my family and I unconditionally. Please take the loneliness; I need them to understand, bilateral symmetry. Yes, or No? Maybe, because that is what BPD is, a psychological anomaly.

God, thank you for guiding me and granting me the strength to endure it.

If you walk by my side, I will walk through it.

Respectfully God, does it have to hurt this much?

I am sorry God, that I question you as such.

Wait, I remember you gave me my own mind,

I refuse to believe that the Creator, my God, my Father to be unkind.

I can ask these questions and always receive an answer,

Always looking and listening past the banter.

But please my God, my Father, fix me,

I am done with uh, sometimes, maybe.

“We can fix broken, but we can’t fix dead.”

A mantra I have created to keep in my head.

Thank you, God for your message although, loud but not always so clear,

I must pay close attention to the message, for I walk with you and should have no fear.

Please God, when you feel that it is my time to reach a new level, allow me to bring my family.

For this I beg and plead, if you do this for me, I will testify, I will make them see.

Thank you for your compassion and understanding. I will share how you continue to save me.

Sincerely and in Faith Always,

A uh, sometimes, maybe, because BPD is a psychological anomaly.

PS

To those that might read this poem; this is a uh, sometimes, maybe, BPD moment. I drafted this poem specifically for the Epistolary challenge. You will know what I mean when you realize that I am submitting this poem ten minutes after nine.