Confused mind

We live in this world to be happy.

Be happy means to relax and have fun or am i misunderstanding what the world means?

I work,come home eat,shit shower sleep what has this come to? Why the fuck do I feel the need to curse? Why the fuck do I feel like I have the worst life?

Yet everyday in and out sunny,cloudy,busy,or relaxed yet everyday I sit in this god damn world questioning my existence?

Yet I question my existence but like why? Why the fuck so many bills?from highs to lows,from dawn to dusk,from the shadows to the emotions creeping in…. Seriously man….

Yet I sit here on this very bed nakedly in my body wondering what’s missing? Am I reading you wrong god? Am I living blindly? Why do I feel the constant urge to fuckin explode out of my own damn skin…. Like a bubble in the sky just busted into thin air but I’m not there yet. No I don’t want to be there but I’m at the very edge…

Are you depressed people are going to ask? Depressed na dude I’m living on the edge do I know what’s going to come? Not a clue but this constant worry what if this what if that…. From the sky to the earth to the moon and back his can’t you see a minor crack?

Not sad,not happy just confused bro you think you know me? I don’t know myself I sit in this awkward body alone in this damn world. Feeling alone and scared and looking kinda frail…..

Don’t worry my child he says I gotchu I won’t ever let you fall but why god why must you let me go through these struggles? You know it’s kind of like a kid sitting on the floor looking at piece by piece as to which one fits the puzzle…. god why must you let me go through these struggles? You know it’s kind of like a kid sitting on the floor looking at piece by peice as to which one fits the puzzle….

Did I really just move to my own fuckin apartment? Three months ago ? This shit doesn’t feel real…. It will feel real when he’s there?

Why god?

Why I must sit in this unknown body of a feeling I call? Why can’t I feel accomplished at what I’ve done? What have I become? I’m fuckin scared man that’s all I have to say and with this I shall take a damn break…..