The weekend

Crying is lately what I’ve become very well aquatinted with…

The slow days that just drag on….

The weekend came excited to sleep in but what do you know I wake up at 6:30 from a nightmare….

I wish he cared

Instead I’m up this early having a nightmare about him all alone and scared…

I force myself back to sleep when I’m yet again woken up to another nightmare but behold this one is deep….

I sit on his friends bed telling him what I can do to get back together with him. His friends helps me but then the one and only question comes up….. is he getting back together with her I ask??? His friend sitting there silent looks the other way…

Oh my fuckin god just say it….

Out of breathe I wake up to my clock saying 8:00 am oh my god can’t I have just peace on my one and only day off???

Tears stream down my face I swear nothing but pain is what I feel deeper then anything……

Asleep I have fallen only to dream happily when what the fuck I’m awoken by yet another fuckin nightmare…… sitting on his friends bed we talk. I got a text with a picture sent to me. My best friend and his ex…. Oh my god please get me out of this ….. I can no longer dream anymore happily,nor be peaceful….. I reach for the tissue box yet to my avail I’ve used them all up….

Okay I’m done with sleeping I turn over and lay in the corner still as anything…. What do I have?

Because quite frankly I feel like I don’t have anything at all … the world is falling through my fingers like quick sand on a beach….

If only I could think of staying at a nice beach…. Instead I’m stuck frozen in this damn bed I can’t sleep nor find anything relaxing….

Your a pathological liar,you hurt me,your a disgusting child….

The memories play in my head each from a different person… FUCK ME I start tearing but yet feel worthless to cry I feel as if I’m not here looking at the picture that hangs on top of my bookshelf… (a family photo) I think what if I just disappear? Ya they would care but only for a short while…

They all tell me to go on medicine… fuck that shit they leave me alone let alone I want to cry yet gain I don’t know what else is real…..