Not letting anyone in
I'm protecting my heart
Got these feelings locked down
Can't keep them from surfacing
Don't wanna let anyone see what's beneath
I've built up these walls
From all this pain that's been caused
Don't want to get in too deep
My shell is a rock
It protects me at all costs
Gotta be careful
Can't let anybody in
All that lies within me
Feels like a storm lives inside
My head is a mess
I feel like I'm crumbling
My heart is suffocating
I can't keep holding it in
I want to show who I am
But at what cost?
I can't lose myself again
I don't want to let anyone in
But my heart is getting too big
It's breaking the barrier
My anger is no longer strong enough
I feel like I'm letting you in
But what if you break me like the rest of them?
I'm made out of pieces
pieces of broken hearts I've taken
Never been given anything whole
Just pieces
I've taped them together
to make me whole again
I keep myself protected so I don't crumble
crumble back into a million pieces
If I let you in I risk shattering
My heart maybe full but its fragile
The slightest upset could destroy it
Is it worth it?
Are you worth it...
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Missing you
It's been a minute since I wrote, not knowing how to cope, dealing with the pain of losing you, trying to accept that you're gone feels so untrue. Lost in this world without your guidance, not knowing how to sit in silence, my head is spinning, my mind is a mess, all I can think about is the beginning. Laying in bed feeling overwhelmed with stress, missing your touch and the way you held me when I was sad. I'm so thankful for the time we had. It's been 6 years since you passed, I still haven't healed and don't think I ever will. The more time that passes the further away I feel from you. I have very few memories of you. I still remember the way that you sound and how you used to dance around. The lines on your face have started to blur, the smell of your hair has begun to fade, all I want to do is remember how you were. My heart feels as if it was sliced with a blade. This hurt is so real, I never could have imaged losing my mom and my best friend all in one. This pain cut so deep I'll never be able to heal. My life had just begun the moment you left and now all I wanna do is run. Run as far away as possible. Run from this pain, run from this hurt, run until I no longer feel. I just wish none of this was real. I want it to be a dream and eventually I'll wake up and you'll be here and it'll feel so surreal.
By LeAnn Murch3 years ago in Poets
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