Concerning Behaviour

Wide glazed eyes and an eyebrow perpetually half-quirked

Have set me gently in the High Court of internal opinion.

There are no bailiffs, no jury, no judge, no witness.

Just a halfway here version of myself slumped backward,

Crunching my spine as my neck folds to let me see

The spiders and their rwebs clustered in the rafter.

A slow blink from lightless, unseeing eyes.

The accusatory shadow is screaming.

.

Has been screaming long enough to become a sort of melody.

Slow and crashing in my ears like the struggling ventricles

Of a heart that once beat steady, strong, without a doubt.

Broken waves tear the soul out of my skin and drown it

Below rip currents where struggles fail in their fight.

Breaking through the surface will never work

Against the water dragging bodies to the horizon.

So I swim through the black nights.

.

Align myself with the rips claiming lives

Because they are gentle against sunburnt skin

And surprisingly kind beneath pale moonlight,

The trickling glitter of stars as they fall to the ocean.

It's beautiful here in the distant waters where land

Cannot reach and I am allowed to float, to be ungrounded.

But this...this painless exploration of watery night skies

Is troubling the masses, the empty, cloned faces of the court.

.

It is concerning behaviour to dabble in rip current thoughts.

A sin to do anything besides break leather against my spine.

Apologize for lies that were truths on my tongue.

Kneel, bleed, beg on the edges of cliffs

While instead I would rather look at the black outline of white,

Dazzlingly white clouds swimming above while I float

On soft waters and softer differences.

.

What is concerning about a style of existing,

A way of breathing above the waters that others cannot fathom?

I am comfortable swimming with the gentle, whispering undertow.

Over these dark nights, the suspiring world here

Has drawn me into a new place, a new world, a new existence.

One where sea birds smile and fish tell me long-hidden secrets.

It's beautiful floating along the undertow,

Beautiful dreaming in black skies and glittering star dust.

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Silver Serpent Books

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