Caught in the Maze of Thoughts and Dreams

So, here's the situation. I did something that I shouldn't have done. It's been about a month and a half since I last heard from you. Sadly, thoughts of you occupy my mind every single day. Honestly, I don't want to think about you, but I can't seem to stop. Even when I try to sleep, thoughts of you creep in. It's strange because I've never dreamt about someone so often and without intending to. I used to believe that I would never dream about the same person more than once, but then you came along. Every day, I would see your beautiful face in my dreams, and when I woke up, I would feel a mix of emotions. I couldn't quite figure out if I was sad, happy, calm, angry, or something else altogether. I held onto this idea that maybe one day you would come back, even though I'm not sure if I could handle that. But then, something unexpected happened.

In one of my dreams, I saw you, but your face was different. It was like a shadow, and I couldn't see any features. It scared me, and I woke up feeling sweaty and out of breath, with my heart racing. I couldn't understand how it was possible for such a strange dream to occur. And then, I made a big mistake. I couldn't bring myself to delete a video that I had made for you once. I ended up watching it again, even though I knew I shouldn't have.

This whole situation has been weighing on my mind. I keep wondering why I can't stop thinking about you, even though I don't want to. It's frustrating because I feel like I have no control over my own thoughts. I try to distract myself, but you always find a way back into my mind. It's like you've taken up permanent residence in my thoughts.

I used to believe that dreams were just dreams, that they didn't mean anything. But now, I'm not so sure. These dreams of you have made me question everything. What do they mean? Why do I keep seeing you? And why did your face change in that one dream? It's all so confusing.

I wish I could just forget about you and move on with my life. I don't want to hold onto this hope that you'll come back, because deep down, I know it's not likely. But no matter how hard I try, you're always there, lingering in my thoughts and dreams.

I know I need to find a way to let go, to stop dwelling on what could have been. But it's easier said than done. I'm trapped in this cycle of thinking about you, and I don't know how to break free.

So, here I am, stuck with these thoughts and dreams that won't go away. I'm left wondering if I'll ever be able to move on and find peace of mind. For now, I'll keep trying to push you out of my thoughts, but I can't make any promises.