But We Both Know That Isn't True

I close my eyes and I can still feel your touch.

I can smell you here still, no matter what I try to do to make you go away.

I see you everywhere I look.

I look for you everywhere I go.

I keep saying you'll be back.

We both know that isn't true.

And if you do come back it would be just for you.

I still feel the last time we were together.

Your head on my chest.

Me careful not to move you, thinking just a little while longer.

Just a little while longer.

That morning I could have laid there forever.

I didn't want to let you go.

I didn't get a choice.

My heart was racing.

And I couldn't stop shaking for so long after you left.

I kept saying, "No, no please, please don't go."

But you couldn't hear.

You said good bye and kissed me.

I still feel your kiss.

I still feel your lips.

How could you leave me alone?

How could you leave me after everything we have been through?

How can you leave me after everything we survived?

You left and I couldn't watch you go.

I wanted to chase after that truck.

It took everything in my heart to let you go.

I kept telling myself that you'll be back.

We both know that isn't true.

And if you do come back it would be just for you.

It's been months now.

I try to fill my space with less of you.

But no matter what I do you are still here.

I hear your voice saying my name.

I turn to see you at the door, you're not there.

I keep saying you're just outside, and I look out but you're not there.

I wait every night but every night I am still alone.

I can't see your comfort not even on the phone.

I cry all the time.

Trying to make sense of it all.

Trying to understand the reason you gave me.

Trying to be strong like you asked me to be.

Strong for what?

You said you'd be back.

We both know that isn't true.

And if you do come back it would just be for you.