Be Gone Punxsutawney Phil

Day 26/366 of writing and publishing pieces in 2024.

It’s a beautiful 70° here where I live today. This is a rarity for January and a huge tease. With Groundhog Day coming, it inspired me to create this meme and then this idea for a poem followed.

Oh, Punxsutawney Phil, you better put that shadow away,

Or we'll send a creature to break your alarm clock, I say!

Because clearly, your ability to predict the weather is not strong,

We all know how groundhogs are renowned meteorologists, gone wrong.

So, come on out of your cozy burrow, my friend,

And let's see if you can dazzle us with your shadow-seeing trend.

I mean, who needs professional weather forecasters when we have you to rely on?

And if you do see your shadow, well, we'll make you be gone.

We'll dress you up in a Hawaiian shirt, what a sight!

Or possibly freeze your body giving you a taste of frostbite.

Maybe then you'll finally understand the gravity of your shadow-seeing abilities,

And we can all move on from this Groundhog Day absurdity.

Oh, Punxsutawney Phil, with your furry little face,

We've had enough of winter's cold and dreary embrace.

Seriously, Phil, can't you just give us a break?

We're tired of shivering and bundling up, for God’s sake!

So, if you see your shadow, we'll have to come up with a plan,

To fire you from your job and put you in a cubical like a man.

Who needs six more weeks of winter when we can have Spring here in bloom?

With gorgeous flowers and warm weather while we shroom.

Oh, Punxsutawney Phil, you nasty little thorn,

If you see your shadow, you’ll be making us mourn.

We don’t need winter to extend its stay,

What we need is Spring and Months that feel like May.

Punxsutawney Phil, don’t be that guy,

Be better than that, make the shadow go goodbye.

Because nothing says happiness more than Spring in the air,

With lighter foods to eat, that go great with Sancerre.

Oh, Punxsutawney Phil, it's for a great cause,

But seriously though, we need winter to pause.

So, put away that shadow, bring us some sun,

And we'll throw a party that'll make you have fun!

Punxsutawney Phil, the pressure is on,

To predict an early spring, come on, don't be a con.

We'll dress you up in a top hat and a cane,

And you can tap dance your way into fame!

So, Punxsutawney Phil, let's make a pact,

If you see your shadow, you just might get whacked.

But if you don't, we'll throw a parade in your name,

You'll be the star of the show, oh what a claim to fame!

Punxsutawney Phil, you better put that shadow away,

And bring us an early spring, without further delay.

We'll laugh, we'll dance, and celebrate with glee,

As we bid farewell to winter, and welcome the sunny spree!