An Ode to Spatchcocked Chicken
Table Humor - With My Apologies to Bill Shakespeare
(This one is best read with your best Vincent Price voice impression)
O' spatchcocked chicken, so divine
Deprived of breastbone, tail and spine,
Spread in most immodest fashion!
Rubbed with spices, oil and passion!
---
Thrust on heated iron grating,
Searing in those juices waiting
To be bathed in sav'ry smoke
Of natural mesquite and oak.
---
There, thou sizzled, slowly roasting,
Flavors mixing, spices toasting
While thy thighs cooked by convection
'Til thy skin was crisp'd perfection.
---
Oh, the joy! The bliss! The rapture
As the barbecue tongs capture
Thy distended, splitting breast
And I set you aside to rest.
---
Dice cucumber and tomato.
Unwrap foil from red potato.
Now the knife! Cut true and steady!
(Tell the wife that dinner's ready.)
---
At long last, my fork impales thee
And my table knife assails thee
And my senses know the pleasure
Of thy flavor, beyond measure.
---
Ah, my lovely fowl, my chicken,
I am cursed - forever stricken
By a bird that eats its poop.
Tomorrow's dinner? Chicken soup!
***
Author's Note: This, my first-published story on Vocal, was written a day after discussing poetry with my daughter during a meal. When she was younger, we used to come up with silly little rhymes for fun. I often wish we'd written them down.
Thanks for reading!
About the Creator
Dana Crandell
Dad, Stedpad, Grandpa, Husband, lover of Nature and dogs.
Poet, Writer, Editor, Photographer, Artist and Tech/Internet nerd. Content writer by trade. Vocal Creator by choice.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Keep reading
More stories from Dana Crandell and writers in Poets and other communities.
A CLOSE ENCOUNTER
Stars twinkled brightly in a moonless sky, reflecting in the calm waters of Lake George in the Adirondack mountains of upstate New York. It was a warm August night, as we laid back in the boat, marveling at the magnificent Milky Way. Dark skies made the stars more brilliant at this time of year, especially during a new moon, causing wonder and enchantment. We never tired of stargazing while floating on water, a truly immersive experience.
By Jon H. Davis6 days ago in Fiction
Comments (19)
Well Thanks for that Dana... Now I'm craving chicken!! But also I love the way you have this ability to impart your wonderful sense of humour in these pieces of yours! π Great work, I loved this!!
I'm in awe of your rhyming skills, as always, Dana. This one is particularly fantastic, as it brings in more senses than poems usually do, and I love that last stanza. I'm sorry I waited so long to read this! Absolutely fantastic! And now I'm hungry.
Yum, now I am hungry
So glad you entered this in! Lovely stuff, funny and so very good!
Perfect submission for this challenge!π
Very well done
I have no idea who Vincent Price is, but this made me laugh anywaysβ¦ and crave chicken. The picture is so enticing! That naughty bird, posed immodestly, looks hot. π₯ LOL. I love when you write things that make you apologize to Bill.
Vincent price did an amazing job narrating. As for the poem and the chicken, letβs just say, mouth watering and humorous. Well done.
Another gem Paul dredged up. Delightful (& looks tasty).
I have never had chicken this way. This piece made me want it lol. π€ It's written so well and I honestly laughed out loud at the end π€£
Perfectly written, Dana. I love the prompt to read this in the voice of Vincent Price. I actually have a cookbook from Vincent Price and his wife (one of my very favorite cookbooks), and I imagined this as an entry there. I love the way this poem flows and creates such powerful imagery! What time is dinner?!
-Lol, not the Poop π©πGreat Job on this Awesome, Piece π
Oh my gosh that was so cute and funny! To me, it sounds like something a hobbit might also recite while cooking πππ
Great use of language and flow, it felt like I was reading Poe!
Oh, this is brilliant! haha. I loved the direction to read it as Vincent Price, which made it even better! Sterling, creative, funny and poetic stuff, right here, my friend!
Haha!! How the heck did I miss this? A M A Z I N G!! ππ«
Love it!!! πππππππ
haha. I absolutely love this! Great entry.
overflowing fantasia buddy, I can taste that bird yummy