i've become a walking echo.
a sickly rhythm
pounds out my staccato heartbeat,
reverberating through
my hollow bones.
it bounces off the
fleshy walls
that hold in screams
unable to pass through
my desecrated lips.
all the voices magnify,
their endless refrain,
a tired chorus
caught inside the
bombed out shell of
my mind's cathedral,
the ones that tell me
i should quit...
pretending.
seething.
searching.
breathing.
i'm brought low to the altar,
again and again,
prayers whispered in agony
as the numbness creeps in,
and yet...
i stare at you and wonder
what you see staring back.
then i realize
i've had the answer all this time–
you never see me at all.
___________________________________________________
Thank you for reading! xx ~H
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Compelling and original writing
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I can't imagine dying like this, in a place like this; on a cold, dirty pavement with rush hour traffic screaming by and a crowd looking on while paramedics struggle to find space to move. Who could? Deep down we all think there should be a reason, a moment of clarity... or a family presence, at least. For this man, this boy, the rail thin woman lighting a cigarette in a faux fur jacket will have to do - she's been here since the start, her eyes tracking the movement of my shoulders as we fight to keep him on the right side of the line.
By S. A. Crawford6 days ago in Fiction
Comments (22)
nice
I see you 👀 and hear you !..six days later!! Bit of a vocal break. Excellent little piece Heather! 😊👏 well done. I hope you are travelling well too! ☺️👍
Wow , this is an excellent poem . I love how you compare a wall to a relationship where the other partner does not notice the other person at all
This just knocked my socks off. What a beautifully raw and emotional piece. Every line so heavily weighted—brought tears to my eyes. “caught inside the bombed out shell of my mind's cathedral” Powerful! Sending love to you and all the places of your heart that this piece came from. ✨💞💫
Magnificent writing HH! BRAVO!!
This was powerful love the imagery of the ruins of a church nicely done
Interesting im wowed 🎯❤️🤞🏾
Good gawd Heather, beautifully done and heartbreaking
Wow love that last line, but also felt this line deeply "a tired chorus caught inside the bombed out shell of my minds cathedral" - just amazing 👏 ❤️
Wow, this is so poetically beautiful.
Well, everyone else has already said it, but that last line? Damn!
Oh you shook me with this one Heather 🫢. That last line cut deep. Also hoping this is creative license and not a current situation. But I know that, on reflection, it could represent a memoir for many of us. Well done ❤️
And there is my heart on the floor again...lol. I hope you are okay and this isn't truly autobiographical. This like so many people have said is some of your finest work, Heather...that last line - yeah, that's a nasty, stabby in the heart chef's kiss if ever there was one. Well done and I agree with Mike...this will eventually be a Top Story and rightly so.
Echoes how I feel a lot of the time, people would miss me if I disappeared, but seldom see me , excellent words and another Top Story coming methinks
"I'm brought low to the alter" smacked me in the face, and then the last line broke my heart ❤❤❤ You are so talented, please never stop creating :-D xx
"You never see me at all" Those were just six words but it felt like it was sixty stabs to the heart. I don't think even that would be more painful than not being seen. This was just so heartbreaking. Are you okay my sweet looney partner? 🥺
Such a plaintive sense of invisibility & emptiness. On a personal note, I just want to say that anyone who does not see you for the gracious, generous, caring person you are has & is missing out on one of the great gifts of God's creation. I know that's small consolation when the person who doesn't see you is someone who matters greatly to you & that the wound it opens is deep & viciously/brutally painful. But I want you to hear it anyway. Blessings, my friend.
This one is so beautiful but dang it stings 😞😞❤️
The flow of this poem was amazing. The pacing was spot on! Some of your best work, Heather. I'm floored! 😮
Damn. You've outdone yourself with this. It's like you've reached into to your chest, ripped out your own heart, and bled it onto the page. As a reader, this is an exceptionally stirring piece. As a friend, this better be "just a poem" or I'm gonna have to whip someone.
Brilliantly written!!! Heartbreaking!!!💕❤️❤️
Well written but oh so sad.... love your "i'm brought low to the altar, again and again, prayers whispered in agony" (I understand that one very well.)