i ordered a box full of assorted sex toys
from the Amazon online
my dog got the box before i got home
and now i’m trying to tell the cops it’s not mine
an "Assblaster 5000"
is in a hundred different purple bits
so is the limited edition poly rubber set
of "famous replica tits"
a whole box full of different sized butt plugs
has been strewn across my lawn
an alien landscape if ever there was
looks like it’s been raining porn
dildo attachments and cheap gimp masks
just lying there from fence to fence
judging by the snapping of some of my neighbours blinds
litigation will shortly commence
imported strap ons and rip starter beads
lay randomly from my gate to my door
i hear a little girl walking by ask her dad
"What’s all that stuff for?"
a treasure trove of perverse and carnal goods
lay aimlessly on my front grass
there's no way i can hide all this in time
it may as well be up my own arse
About the Creator
Brenton F
It's just a token of my extreme - Frank Zappa
- - -
I have an eBook, a collection of my favourite pieces
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Eye opening
Niche topic & fresh perspectives
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Spontaneity
Kiss to top of head Shows your character, or mine? Intact is wisdom.
By Holden Atencioabout 23 hours ago in Poets
Vocal Bonus Leaderboard: 05/08/2024
Welcome to the weekly update of the Leaderboard! We're thrilled to showcase Vocal's most discussed stories, popular picks, and rising stars. Let's dive into this past week's standout contributors and their remarkable achievements.
By Vocal Teama day ago in Resources
Comments (22)
This is hilarious and would be even more so if based on real events.
So funny you definitely create imagery. Can clearly see this in my head. Thanks for the laugh I needed one this morn.
That was a great read! Thank you very much, well played Sir, well played.
super hilarious. Keep up the great work. Please and thank you.
hahahahaha!
I guess the lesson here is you shouldn't order sex toys from Amazon.
Haha this was hilarious 😂 congrats on the top story.
Congratulations on your Top Story❗❗❗
Lmao 😂🤣I just laughed so hard for like 5 minutes....
I....I...just knew this was going to be the kind of poem you shouldn't read while drinking or eating anything! hilarious but so clever too! Congrats on a well deserved Top Story!
LOL This is great!
🤣🤣🤣😱 oh nooo!
I sense a theme... 🤔
Oh my gosh. 🔥🔥🔥🔥♥️♥️😂😂😂😜😜this is too good!!! Hilarious love it. Hearted. Congratulations on top story
hahahahaha. This is great. Congrats on the Top Story.
Congratulations on Top Story!!
LOL! 😆 Well done… seems you did your “research” on adult toys.
Erotic toys strewn across Your lawn? Your dog got to the box while You were gone. The yard is littered with toys. Yet the neighbors won't make a noise. You might find a jeweled plug glittering at the buttcrack of dawn.
I should've expected this coming from the person who made the poem "Reach Around." This is hilarious. Reminds me of the meme where one kid finds his sister's infinity rings.
O-M-Gee, hilarious! The dog playing with the sex toys! Great umm, flow too. :)
Hahaha!!! Oh Amazon, they need to package their 'health and wellness' stuff better. This was hilarious!!
Hilarious! And what will the neighbours think? Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed the imagery: assblaster in a hundred different bits