After

i have no plans anymore

at least none that i call my own

no more lines. no more maps

nothing else to be shown

i have no direction at all

my compass points me to lost

i have paid through the nose dearly

yet the value negated the cost

no more battles to fight

no more need to take flight

as i drive with no headlights

into this new endless night

drifting rudderless on an anxious sea

of unseen tomorrows and dreams

reality laps at both bow and stern

and this everything is not as it seems

teetering at the edge of my own abyss

my gaze cast both inwards and out

and every single next breath of mine

is a gift so i’ve no need to shout

my fiction is fractional

a variance of degrees

and now, at this point in my life

i’d like to do as i please

i wanna wake up and say fuck it

i’m gonna go back to bed

i wanna say STOP to the noises

that constantly rage in my head

i want to wake to no expectations

of myself and also from you

ensuring everything else for ever

is just something different to do

i can’t see the future

i want to forget some of the past

because i don’t know how much longer

ANY of this will last

i can’t see the after

i do not know what it brings

roll a dice, flip a coin, trust the gods

and let go of ALL useless things

.

boomshanka