A Humbling

Please forgive me if I remember this incorrectly, but I think Paul Stewart & I were having a conversation where I mentioned this song &, upon hearing the story behind it, he encouraged me to finish writing it & publish it here. So that's what I decided to do.

Here's the story.

During the summer of 1980, the four youngest Knock boys (Terry, me, Dan & Rod) along with our two younger sisters (Kristi & Heidi) & our mother toured for about a month & a half singing gospel music as the Knockabouts in United Methodist Churches scattered throughout the United States. In 1981, after I graduated from college & Rod from high school, we began touring full time (our sisters & mother only joined us during the summer breaks).

This was not something I had planned for myself. I had thought I'd go straight into seminary after my undergraduate work, but God apparently thought differently. (That's a whole 'nother story.) It wasn't something I was comfortable doing for various reasons, but we made it work. Not that we ever made it big, but we managed to pay the bills, keep gas in the pickup, clothes on our backs & food on the table.

As you can probably imagine, being late teens to early twenties, we had dreams of making it in the industry. (At one point, someone actually suggested that we open for Amy Grant, though nothing ever came of it.)

Just to be clear, even though it's not what I thought I wanted to do with my life (or was called to do), I was not immune to such hopes & dreams. Not being comfortable with my own growing hubris & the way we had begun dreaming together, in the summer of 1982 I began writing this song as a reminder that our ministry was not about us but about God & the gospel of Jesus Christ.

If I recall correctly, Terry was the one who found my scribblings &, worried about what they meant, showed them to mom. At that time I had completed the first verse, though I wasn't completely happy with the second half of it.

Mom called me over & began to chastise me for writing something so critical, insisting that I consider what others might think if they knew I had doubts about our ministry & what that would mean for my brothers & sisters. She confiscated the song &, I have always presumed, destroyed it. (I never saw it again.)

But that half a verse with which I was quite satisfied (all the way through "A theatrical show" which now constitutes the entire first verse), stayed with me all these decades following the incident. For this publication I have only changed one word from the original ("darkness" replaced "blackness"). At Paul's behest (if I remember correctly), that is what I have finally finished for you here.

The meter is 7/8 for all but the bridges which are common (4/4). The video above is just to give you a sense of the melody. It's not something that is supposed to be sung by just one voice as there shouldn't be any pauses between quatrains within each verse. I can't sustain a breath that long, so I paused anyway to catch some air. I have it keyed for Am as it fits both my vocal range (which is almost as tragically limited as my breath control) & my rudimentary skills with the guitar. Chords are in parentheses & italicized. And no, I did not use the guitar for the video. I haven't practiced for a long while &, well, as I've already indicated, my skills are rudimentary at best.

I hope you enjoy this but, even if you don't, here it is anyway.

1. ΑΩ

(Am) Who came in to see the show

(C) Artists, dancers, troubadours

(Dm) Marching down the center aisle

(E7) In their jolly single file

*

(Am) Demons, rogues & minstrel kings

(C) All who dance & all who sing

(Dm) Toting darkness in their hearts

(E7) Chanting songs of worldly arts

*

(Am) Tried we did as (C) all we could

(Dm) For religion (Am) as we should

(Dm) Mixing words with (C) melodies

(E7) Spewing out fine (Am) harmonies

*

(Am) As we sang our (C) opening chords

(Dm) Heaven opened (Am) up its doors

(Dm) Father, Son stood (C) hand in hand

(E7) Spreading awe through- (Am) out the land (Em) (Am)

*

A theatrical show (Em) (Am)

2. ΑΩ

(Am) Make sure that you smile at her

(C) Glance around & look sincere

(Dm) Sing God’s love & shed a tear

(E7) Sell it, claim it, have no fear

*

(Am) Sing of God’s amazing grace

(C) Jesus Christ, O, see his face

(Dm) Look, see those adoring eyes

(E7) Claim the Savior, tell no lies

*

(Am) This is all you (C) have to do

(Dm) Say the name & (Am) hold it true

(Dm) Walk with Jesus (C) side by side

(E7) Claim God’s grace, en- (Am) joy the ride

*

(Am) Forego works, don’t (C) even care

(Dm) For the people (Am) anywhere

(Dm) Let them find their (C) own way home

(E7) Jesus, all we (Am) have to know (Em) (Am)

*

A theatrical show (Em) (Am)

But the Spirit said, (E7) "No...."

*

(Am) Come on now, ad- (C) mit it’s cool

(Dm) Singing, dancing (Am) like a fool

(Dm) Right as rain we’ll (C) rock this gig

(E7) Very soon we’ll (Am) make it big

*

(Am) Play to hundreds, (C) thousands, more

(Dm) Share the gospel (Am) as we tour

(Dm) Basking in our (C) groupies’ praise

(E7) Thanking Jesus (Am) all our days (Em) (Am)

3. ΑΩ

(Am) Softly now a vagrant comes

(C) Wanting food & someplace warm

(Dm) As the concert now begins

(E7) What will happen, he’s so thin

*

(Am) Woman meets him at the door

(C) Walks with him across the floor

(Dm) Guides him to a padded pew

(E7) Sits beside him, she sees you

*

(Am) Holiness we’re (C) witnessing

(Dm) Tender kindness (Am) as we sing

(Dm) Comfort, more than (C) tender care

(E7) Just to see them (Am) sitting there

*

(Am) Holy Spirit, (C) Breath of God

(Dm) Sits before us, (Am) feet unshod

(Dm) Precious love & (C) grace untold

(E7) Welcome lamb in- (Am) to the fold (Em) (Am)

*

And our hearts start to break (Em) (Am)

As the Spirit a- (E7) wakes

*

(Am) More than any (C) words we sing

(Dm) More than all our (Am) messaging

(Dm) More than any (C) scripture quote

(E7) More than all the (Am) songs we wrote

*

(Am) This is Christ, we (C) see it now

(Dm) Humbled, we can (Am) naught but bow

(Dm) Silenced by the (C) grace we’ve seen

(E7) What the gospel’s (Am) always been (Em) (Am)

4. ΑΩ

(Am) As you treat the least of these

(C) So you’ve treated even me

(Dm) Better than to speak my name

(E7) Share my love & live my grace

*

(Am) Clothe the naked, feed the poor

(C) Offer shelter, clothing, more

(Dm) Heal the sick & raise the dead

(E7) Making sure that all are fed

*

(Am) Visit those in (C) lonely place

(Dm) Those in prison, (Am) face to face

(Dm) Ne’er averse to (C) places low

(E7) Anywhere the (Am) Spirit blows

*

(Am) Recognize this (C) reign of God

(Dm) In our midst e’en (Am) Christ’s own bod

(Dm) Living love & (C) loving grace

(E7) Welcome all in (Am) every place (Em) (Am)

*

It’s where the blessing’s ordained. (Em) (Am)