You Deserve to Be Happy Now, Not Just When You Reach Your Goal

I ate a lot. At night. Every night. No one ever thought of that because I was a healthy weight. But I believed my weight was too high in number, so I would try to adjust it.

Every morning I would start over and eat like a little, lovely mouse. I swore that this time would be different. But every night, to fill in the gaps I did not know existed, I ate. And eat. And eat.

What helped me get out of that hungry, helpless cycle? Clothes.

When I rolled between the floor and the excess I did not buy clothes. Why bother when I'm going to be thin in a few weeks? I could be better. It doesn't make sense to spend money on clothes that might be too big for my frame that will be a little too soon.

The years went by and my posture was different. I still had a closet full of clothes that didn't fit well and that didn't fit. I was better.

Hiding in what seemed to be an unrealistic dream was not an easy one.

I shouldn't have dressed someone I saw so big. I shouldn’t have moved my body in ways that sounded good (unless they were going to cry and tighten). I was not supposed to eat high quality food. I did not deserve my own love. And I definitely didn't deserve to be liked by someone else.

After years of trying to lose weight and determined to give up alcohol, I was tired of the struggle. I decided to stop focusing on scale numbers and start focusing on learning food on a regular basis. Unlimited food, rebellion, and unavoidable guilt. I wanted to be free.

The desire to feel good about myself was counterproductive. I caught you looking for skin. I realized that this meant that my body would not be able to lose weight. That the numbers on the label of my clothes can go down again.

My previous excuses for not buying clothes do not work now. I will have to dress my drawings as they were. So I went out and came in with a garment that fit my current body.

That little act gave me proof that I probably didn't wait until I was younger to have a nice dress. Maybe all those things I was putting on, I could do it right away, at that weight, at any weight!

I have gathered a little more evidence. I didn't want to go to that party because I had decided on the guest list that I could be the biggest there - I went.

I enjoyed going but I put it aside because I didn't see the point where not enough calories would burn - I was going anyway.

A perfect, but expensive foundation I wouldn’t have bought until my cheeks lost the chub — I bought it.

I was eating (and crossing the cart with whole loaves) to lose weight. And I was trying to lose weight so that I could be confident and happy and do the things that I enjoyed. By doing those things and creating those feelings in spite of my weight, I have set intermediate steps.

I realized that instead of losing weight and losing weight, I could focus on happiness.

I showed myself that feeling honest and beautiful was not a luxury that was only given to those whose bodies were considered perfect by our society. I realized that I deserved to feel better. No circumstances. There are no weight limits. And that set me free.

Make your list.

Where do you hold what you deserve? Make a list of all the things you have been putting away until you lose weight (or achieve some other goal). What would you have done differently if you had achieved your goal? How can you live your life? What kind of things does the one who comes every day do?

Start small and take action.

Look at your list and choose at least one thing you can do today. To get the momentum, start with anything simple and fast that you can use. Do it quickly.

By doing something small and simple, you will begin to expand your beliefs of what may happen to you now. Instead of thinking that you can do it, you will show that you can do it, no matter how close you are to your goal.

Some of the items on your list may seem overwhelming or impossible. Divide them into small steps.

For example, if you go for a swim until you lose weight, maybe you can go shopping for sun hats, or try on some swimming suits, or go barefoot on the beach and feel how nice it is to have your feet in cool sand and salt water.

This should be a list of things that will make you feel good. If the step still sounds too scary or difficult, split it up further.

Go ahead.

Keep your list running smoothly. Whenever you think "once I've reached my goal", add an action to your list. Each day, pick something else from your list to do.

Doing things that will make you happy now does not mean that you will never reach your body or your health goals. It just does not mean that you are happy. And in this short and unexpected life we ​​live in, happiness is too important to wait for.