You Are Your Customer

There was a collective 'turning the corner' moment as the clock ticked down and we bid good riddance to 2020. I certainly felt it, did you? That emotional roller coaster, life threatening, mentally challenging year that we just escaped by the skin of our teeth was officially behind us, once and for all. Get thee behind me!

So, with 2020 being firmly scraped from our shoes, the outlook for 2021 is nothing but optimistic. A new wind is blowing, breathing fresh air into our hopes and dreams and as the year is new, so are the adventures that lie before us.

I've taken a harsh look at where I'm at with my life and where I want to be. Last year I was working as a supervisor for the 2020 Census, so I knew it was temporary and sure to end by autumn. Because of delays due to Covid 19, my work time was extended until the end of October, and once it ended, I spent three weeks on unemployment before accepting a new job.

My 'perfect job' checklist included the desire to work from home, get paid more than my previous job, and be doing something to help others. I found all of those in accepting a position to work with the Department of Health for my state, hired by a staffing company. My job title of Case Investigator includes calling people who have tested positive for Covid and interview them to gain information that will help stem the spread of the virus. It's a job that fills my desire to be able to help in some way during the pandemic.

You would think that after finding a job that paid well, helped others, saved gas money and, best of all, let me work in my pajamas from home would have left me feeling fulfilled and happy but it didn't. It was life sucking as I shared in the heartbreak of those I called - granted, most Covid cases I called were experiencing very mild symptoms, some obviously were not. I grieved with those who had just buried Dad last month and were buring Mom this week. I cringed to hear how some cases had flown all over the United States before and durng their infectious period. It bothered me when parents called and changed the symptom onset dates for their children so they could be out of isolation earlier to go back to playing sports (while infectious), and I laughed with those who received my questions with such delightful humor in the midst of a pandemic.

When December rolled around, the harbinger of the end of the WORST YEAR EVER, January's tempting pristine allure gave way to thoughts of change. In the movie Chocolat, the 'winds of change' would blow mother and daughter from one place to another, pausing briefly in one area only until the wind once again blew them along. I could feel those winds pulling at me as the dreaded year ended and the blank canvas of 2021 began.

How do you justify changing everything when everything is working like you imagined? I've determined that there is no justification at all. You HAVE to do what makes your heart sing, not what makes sense. It goes against all reason and normal expectations, but unless you answer the pulling of your soul to do what you love to do, you will never truly be happy or content.

For me that means creating. Anything that involves painting, sewing, crafting, writing, directing, producing or helping others just really gets me going. I do as much of it as I can when I'm not doing work for others. In the past, I've been recruited to help my friends to achieve their dreams, which I do love to do, but there's the very same issues. If I am working for someone else, I don't have the time or energy to pursue my own dreams.

I've never been one for New Year's resolutions, mostly because they seem to dissipate as quickly as winter plans to lose holiday weight. One of my friends shared with me that every January, she would choose one word to be her focus for the year and I thought that idea was brilliant. The problem was, there wasn't a word that came to mind for me. That was, at least, not until New Year's Eve.

As I felt the upsurge of emotions of the unlimited possibilities of the New Year and how I wanted to lean into the wind of change, the word "Joy" came to mind. Joy was my word and my new goal for everything I do, not just in 2021, but from now on. Ultimately, it was my resolution. If I don't find joy in what I'm doing, I'll find a way to change my job, my life, my weight, my choices to something that brings me joy.

I've taken this to heart. January is in week three and so far I've written four stories, learned how to needle felt, broke out the sewing machine and designed a pattern and created a new line of bean bag toys, participated in a week long seminar, signed up for a 12 week course about following my heart, committed to sharing half of the expense of reprinting two books my sister wrote that I illustrated, and committed to joining Vocal. Each of these things speak to my heart as investments toward enabling me to setting the building blocks to be self sufficient in doing what I love to do, instead of spending my days in life-sucking jobs just for financial reasons.

What I have learned in the workshop I've already finished, is that to truly be successful in what you do, you need to offer something you would love to have yourself. You are your own customer. Offering from your heart, doing something that makes you feel fulfilled, do what you dream of doing and success will follow. You have a value. You have amazing gifts that you generally take for granted because they come easy for you, but those same gifts may be the very key to your financial freedom.

I am not even sure which of the varied things I love to do is the best one for me to offer someone else. I plan to just keep doing what I am inspired to do and one day, there will be someone who asks me to do that for them. Then there will be another, then another, and then I'll realize - "Wow, that must be my thing".

Rather than be bogged down and stressed about how my dreams will come about, I'm going to spend each day doing what I wish. At least for now, I will continue my reliable day job until I sort out what avenue(s) will be the direction I will take, but I'm encouraged and excited to find out.

I truly believe that you need to take action to move forward in the direction you want to head, just as a baby needs to take a first step to walk. Like that story about the man who was caught in a flood who cried out to God to save him. The water got higher and higher until the man had climbed on the roof and sat there waiting for God to rescue him. A rescue boat came by but the man refused to go, preferring for God to save him, then a helicopter dropped down a ladder for him. Again, he said "No thanks, God will save me." When the flood overcame the man, he drowned and when arriving in heaven asked God "I cried out to you - I had faith! Why didn't you save me?" God told him "I first sent a boat, then a helicopter.... but you never accepted my help." My belief is we need to have that trust to step off the edge of the cliff knowing there's a safety net, even if you can't see it.

We're all stepping off that cliff as we seek to find happiness with the hope that what we do each day will make a difference in our lives as well as those around us. It's a scavenger hunt, looking for those elusive clues that solve the puzzle of the future.

To navigate forward, a renewed appreciation for those around us, while being attuned to what our little inner voice is asking us to do can combine to create the joy we are seeking. And hopefully, 2021 will not only bring us a fresh start, but the best year we've ever had. That's my hope anyway.