Words of Unwinding

I head to the fridge to retrieve a special bottle of chardonnay. I prefer to always keep a bottle on hand, one that is cool and crisp for such nights like tonight. A change in ambiance is required to set the mood I am looking for. I reach for my phone to find the perfect music, a slow jazzy lo-fi playlist. With a prompt voice command to Alexa, I dim the lights of my house. Having a proper setting is vital when you require time to work with heavy emotions. With a full glass in tow, I begin my climb up the stairs, hang a swift right to a closed door, and stop.

I feel I must brace myself before entering. I know you lie in wait, ever patient, for me to spill my worries and sorrows to your lended ear. You have kept my secrets safe. I know that I can trust you. You have been the sounding board for many of my creative ideas. I don't usually share my thoughts, and feelings with others, except you. You know everything. You do not cast judgment upon my forms of expression. It is simply not of your nature.

There is a certain comfort that comes with always having you near. I look forward to the safe haven that you provide. Many have made comments about my time with you in passing, but they do not understand the sanctity you provide.

This past year has not been too kind to either of us. We both have become quite tattered and worn. I understand why many have said you appear rough around your edges, but in the end, aren’t we all? Regardless, you have really held your own and kept yourself in healthy shape. Many crumble under pressure, but not you. You are sturdier than all the rest. I've been burdened with many grievances, all of which you've helped lighten the load. My soul has shed many skins and with your help, I've blossomed into someone worthy of being proud of.

Even through all of the struggles, I have made amazing memories and shared them with you. My favorite being the first time I saw you. They say not to judge a book by its cover, but I think we both know that was not the case with you. You caught my eye at a local flea market, something deep inside told me I had to get you back home with me. You were dawning some type of ribbon made only of twine. I thought that was such a creative and unique flair of style. You had that bow handcrafted just for you, didn’t you?

My favorite memory has to be that time I took you with me on a spur-of-the-moment trip, a weekend getaway to Lake Michigan. It was right before Autumn when the leaves had begun to turn red. It was still hot enough to go for a swim and there is no better way for both than with a lake. I myself have been here countless times. You, however, have never been near a body of water. I am still utterly amazed that you never once managed to get a drop on you. While I was wading in the water cooling off, you were sprawled out on top of a beach towel, soaking up the sun. Even when I emerged from the water dripping wet to join you in your sunny spot, you remained forever dry.

Finally prepared, I open the door and step inside. I see you lying there in all your glory, face down on a pillow right next to a box of chocolates. I walk to the bed where you’re resting and sit down gently beside you. I caress your bare spine, which sends haunting shivers up mine. Tonight is our last night together, my eyes well up with tears at the thought. You are pushing to the brim of fulfillment. I have been putting off this moment for a couple of days now, in a naive attempt to prolong our journey together. But I know that’s not right. I know now that I must finish what I have with you so that I may begin anew with another.

A proper farewell is in order, but how to begin?

Why of course, like all the times in the past….

Dear diary,