Wild swimming with c-ptsd

Lockdown with mental illness. Alone scared we can all relate to this time . A year before lockdown I had been pool swimming while seeing a councillor to help with c-ptsd. Things was looking up, swimming cleared my mind ,I was doing this for me and just me something I hadn’t done before,not the swimming but the focusing on myself

Lockdown happened swimming pool was closed and I’m alone at home with my terrors

I sought online help which was beneficial ( thank you to Mind uk). But I was still alone stuck in at home. My thoughts was spiralling out of control. I needed something to focus on . Swimming has always been a love of mine but how to go with all the leisure centres closed. Then a memory came to me

Years ago going out with friends on motorbikes we often stopped to cool off in the summer at rivers and lakes. Strip off to our undies and jump in. I loved it. So could I open swim again ? Alone no. I’ve no confidence going anywhere alone let alone swim

Weeks of debating this in my head I decided to research Omg! People have clubs to wild swim I joined one. Weeks passed again. I’d read every comment researched places they swam at but I hadn’t written a word to them.

Let’s do this I did I messaged. “ I’d like to join in on a swim sometime “. There is fine it

Omg a reply oh no. I’ve been invited to join a sunrise swim at the local river I was happy but also very anxious. Not of the river but going and meeting strangers Few days of in my head arguing. Do it. No don’t go they won’t accept you. That sort of thing.

So while the good head was on I messaged back and a time was given. I was going !!!

Why has it taken me so long to do this ! it was amazing I was hooked. The people were so friendly gave me some good advice encouragement. I felt good happy free

6 months on I entered a cold water challenge for a cancer charity. Swim every day in November It’s the uk believe me it’s cold 🥶. I completed the challenge. In doing it I found I could swim in very cold water I found my mental health had improved greatly and I’ve made some solid good friends

I managed to swim at least twice a week ,usually more throughout winter

I’ve swam now in the sea Various lakes including lake Coniston in the Lake District ( my most beautiful swim yet) many local rivers in Northamptonshire and Bedfordshire, and I’m off to the Peak District in a few weeks to find more and maybe a waterfall if I can

I have learnt so much. Mostly about myself I can meet new people and I won’t be rejected my ex was wrong there he was wrong about a lot of things he made me believe I’ve learnt I’ve the strength to overcome fears ,I can challenge my body in extreme weather conditions I’ve learnt how wonderful nature is and how it helps your mindset your confidence I saw my first ever wild snake swimming across the water.I see foxes many wild birds and swans now follow me on one of my river swims. My first encounter I screamed. Now I’m happy to see them Hoping to see a otter 🦦 one day

Downside is the amount of gear I’ve now accumulated and room to dry it all is a nightmare 😂. New challenge is to just keep what I actually need ! And find some innovative ways to dry it all ( energy crisis using power to dry anything not an option) I’ll figure it out 😁

I’m not better yet and this journey continues

Thank you for reading

I