Why do their opinions bother me?

Has anyone ever said to you "who cares about their opinion?" to try to make you feel better? Then you think about it, and it logically makes sense, but for some reason you still care anyways. You can't stop caring. It just bothers you so much. You may even get empowered for a couple of days and go back to caring about people's opinions of you again.

You have this need for people to see you how you want them to see you but at the same time it is so exhausting to constantly worry about everyone's opinions, but you just can't stop. Maybe you start to even hate yourself for it. Does this sound like you?

This is me. This was me, and is me. When these unexplainable stronghold emotions come to my heart and mind, I like to ask myself what the root of these emotions are. I used to think it was cause I am a nice person who cares about other people's feelings. But that did not make sense to me. I could care about others without taking their opinions about me so personally. So let's dig into why this is you.

Let's talk about why someone else's opinions bother you. What about it bothers you? Is it their ability to share with other people what kind of person they think you are? Is it the fear that people will believe that wrong perception of you? Is it because they may not like you and you fear rejection? Is it fear of loneliness? Why is your self-peace reliant on someone else's perception and thoughts?

Before we go into it further, ask yourself this question: "What are my insecurities? What do I not like about myself?

Why are we asking this question? Because imagine someone accusing you of something that is unrelated to you whatsoever. Imagine if someone said you were a messy person, but you knew you were a neat person. Then this comment wouldn't bother you at all because you aren't insecure about it. You know that you are a neat person, and you know that as a fact. So what they say makes no sense to you. You've already known and accepted the fact that you are a neat person.

Now let's say someone says you're a messy person and you actually are a messy person. So messy that your parents have yelled at your for it. People have made fun of you for it. People have put you down for being a messy person. You are tired of hearing it but it's something that is difficult for you to change.

Why does this bother you? Because you yourself don't accept that about yourself. You don't like that fact about yourself and you don't want that about yourself. You want to change it, but you haven't so you don't like hearing it from other people. These opinions that bother you are opinions you fear about yourself that you have not accepted about yourself. But just because someone says it, does not mean it's true and you have to accept what they say about you.

Here is the secret to not caring about what other people think about you:

Love Yourself.

Love all of yourself. Love your flaws, love your growth, love where you came from, love who you are now, love your potential and where you can go, love how you are now, love how you may be later. Accept all of yourself. Accept your flaws, accept your growth, accept where you came from, accept who you are now, accept your potential and where you can go, accept how you are now, accept how you may be later. Compare yourself to yourself and know everyone is different.

Because what happens when you do?

Okay, so let's say you accepted everything about yourself, and decided to love yourself like you would love your friend who has flaws. As a messy person, if someone said you are a messy person, what would your reaction be?

So, let's get personal. What is something about yourself that you like about yourself? Then tell yourself some negatives some people could possibly say about this trait that you like about yourself. Okay, but you still like that about yourself anyways right? Does it bother you? Not really, right? Because that is a part of yourself that you accepted regardless of other people's opinions. If you truly love ALL of yourself, and accept EVERYTHING about yourself, you can become someone that is unbothered by other people's opinions because they are saying things that you already know about yourself, and know where you are at. OR, they are telling you things that you know for a fact aren't true about you and it becomes their problem and the kind of person they are, assuming things about you without truly getting to know you. Which says more about them than it says about you.

So ask yourself, what are some things you don't like about yourself, why is that, and how can you love yourself?