Where, What, Why?

This is a four part "Live life happy" self help series

PART 1

Some times we all overthink, and it can be a big hassle in life, love, friendship, and work. It causes stress, anxiety, depression, lack of confidence, as well as accusations and unnecessary fights that are 100 percent preventable. I personally have struggled with this for years, and it even cost me my family and job.

If you deal with this yourself, I am here to tell you we can all get past our thoughts, because that's all they are. There is nothing there until we think about it, and it becomes more and more real to us as we think more and more about it, to the point that we become physically and emotionally drained.

WHERE

Now if you're like me, the process starts with the question of where. Like "Where did that happen?" "Where was she/he if they were not there?" ect, ect. We all have that deep sinking feeling that where is going to answer all our questions, but illuminate our worst fears. But in actuality our fear is ourselves not wanting to be hurt or, even worse, left alone. It causes our perspective to blur with rage or jealousy and that in its self can cause a plethora of different emotions.

So how can we stop this from happening? One sure-fire way is to talk it out, if not with your spouse/partner, then a family member or friend, or maybe even a social worker. Who ever it is, maybe it can help a lot to just be able to get it off your chest. But make sure you don't start the blame game, because that just sets you back in your thought process and only makes you start your path to anger. So just talk and get it out.

Another way is to distract ourselves: Play a game, go for a walk, play with a dog, do a jig and wiggle that finger; whatever it is just make sure you're only focused on that. I always found that if I had a friend that came out and did something with me, I wouldn't think the negative thoughts until some one would bring them up to me. Those people are what I call "Drama Eaters," but we will get into them later on in the series. Good company equals good thoughts, so the better your company is, the better you should feel after you part from each other.

Some people may use work as a distraction, but in my opinion that causes more damage than good. You make yourself too stressed trying to focus on your job; and that in turn can make it very difficult to have healthy work relationship because now to them, you're an ass hat (excuse my wording), and 90 percent of the time that stress also causes many other avoidable arguments with the people that live with you. I say do something other then work your self into a jail cell or an early grave.

People think all different sorts of ways, more than i can even wrap my head around. And the processes that lead to those thoughts can blow one's mind. But if we just take a step back and change the way we think, we can make ourselves feel and even look healthier and better off than we were when our minds went to the emotional roller coaster.

Here's a thought to leave you with: Lao-Tzu wrote, "A tree is not a tree until we call it a tree."

Until next time, keep your chin up and know "Yesterday is the past, tomorrow hasn't happen yet, but today is the present, so treat every moment as such."

—A.J. Taylor