When I Say Self-Esteem

Recently I have come across a few Facebook posts where people are saying they have such high self-esteem and they're sick of others telling them to love themselves because they already do. They try to prove it by posting selfies and letting everyone know that they know they're really attractive. Yet when you look at their previous posts they talk about how insecure they are with their bodies or some other features, how needy they are, some even go so far as to put themselves and/or others down. One person even asked a group on Facebook if others could comment and like their new profile picture to show their ex that they are indeed 'hot' and 'popular'. Now I'm not here to judge, I'm just observing. I think it's great to have high self-esteem, but is it self-esteem or ego?

I'm a little perplexed by it all because you say you love yourself but you go out of your way to prove to others how great you are, interesting. It reminds me of when kids have a cool new toy and they boast about it, cute right? But you're not some shiny new toy that needs to be shown off.

It makes me wonder, can someone really have high self-esteem if they're worried about how they look or how many likes they're getting? I totally understand that self-love is constant work. You can't wake up one day and magically have unwavering self-esteem, but declaring that you do love yourself and screaming it at the top of your lungs to prove it and then putting others down (or yourself) doesn't sound right. So let's talk about ego and self-love, shall we?

Ego

• Seeking other people's approval instead of your own.
• Over the top self-admiration and ignoring some flaws.
• Worrying about what other people think so you avoid doing certain things because of how other people will view you.
• Constantly putting others needs before your own. How can you say you love yourself if you don't make sure your needs are met first?
• You don't take criticism well, it might hurt or anger you to hear any form of criticism.
• Never doing anything unless you know you'll get something for it.

Having an ego isn't necessarily a bad thing and all those points I wrote about are to do with an inflated ego. The people who deal with these types of issues have an underlining trauma they may need to work through. Honestly, who doesn't have issues these days? But ego is normal and can be good in moderation, it can awaken your self-esteem and show you that you're worth more just don't let it get out of hand and become inflated.

Self-Esteem

• Seeking approval from within. You don't look for constant approval from others, you don't need validation to be yourself, you just are.
• Having self-admiration but being aware and accepting of your flaws.
• Not worrying about what other people think because you know it's none of your business what other people think of you.
• Making sure your needs are met before someone else's needs.
• You take criticism well and know when it's helpful and not rude.
• You are selfless and caring, you give and don't expect anything in return.

It can be really hard to change your beliefs about your self and as I said before it isn't an overnight thing, it takes time. But can you imagine being your own number-1 cheerleader? It would feel great and you'd get where you want to be in life. It's never too late to start working on your self-esteem, you owe yourself all the self-love and respect in the world.

Working on self-improvement should start with toning down the ego a little bit. I understand that hiding behind a certain identity can make you feel better, safe even, but you won't truly be happy until you have true confidence in your worth and self-respect. Go and celebrate yourself and make sure it's coming from a place of true love for yourself, not some false identity you're putting on.