Negative self talk is one of the most debilitating things we do as humans. But why do we do it? Why is it easier to believe and remember negative talk towards ourselves.
In my opinion, I believe that negative self talk comes from a period of constant verbal or psychological abuse. All abuse leaves physical and mental scars, but a lot of abuse survivors often say that the bruises faded but the words didn’t. So why is it that we hold on to those negative hurtful words and ideas about ourselves? Why not hold on to all the positives we hear and say about ourselves? From personal experience it is so much easier to say lovely things about a complete stranger than to look in the mirror and say the same nice things to ourselves.
I look within at my own past to see why I struggle to accept compliments, hate talking good about myself and feel like negative self talk is somehow beneficial to me and my growth. When I was young I wasn’t allowed to accept praise for fear I might relax and stop trying so hard. My family environment was so toxic, and still is within my extended family. There seemed to be so much pressure to constantly be perfect and anything less than perfect was a good enough reason to be punished. I was taught that thinking good about yourself was a sin that would land anyone in to the fiery depths of hell. So I was fearful of ever feeling good about myself. Now that I’m a grown up I’m striving to overcome these feelings of fear and guilt over positive self talk.
Now this was just my personal story, and is just one of the many reasons out there that others have experience that then makes it hard for them to view themselves positively.
What is it that we need to do before we see ourselves as worthy of positive self talk? When can we learn that positive talk towards ourselves and each other is the healthiest way to break through negative emotions and be free? Let start turning our fear emotions into love affirmations. As I’m sure you’ve heard, feelings originate from two places, fear or love. Choosing love over fear means that we make a positive step in helping the whole world become a better place. And where better to start than with ourselves.