Understanding Self-Love

The word “self-love” has gained much traction in conversations in today’s world.

However, it has a much deeper meaning which is often not brought to light.

As I discussed in my earlier article, self-love transcends beyond the idea of “taking care of yourself” or feelings of momentary bliss after pampering yourself with materialistic goodness.

It is much more about appreciation and acceptance of oneself as well as growing with the actions that mold us both psychologically as well as spiritually. It is less about mundane extrinsic factors that influence us and instead on the intrinsic values that contribute to our personal growth and happiness.

It is about embracing yourself just the way that you are.

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” – Robert Morley

Self-love is not a “one-size fits all” package but is instead a variety of tailored outfits that work specifically for you.

The following are some secrets of self-love that I have discovered over my many years navigating in this world:

• Accepting yourself and establishing self-worth: Robert Holden, a British psychologist, once said “No amount of self-improvement can make up for any lack of self-acceptance.” Be mindful of your strengths and weaknesses. You must consistently nurture your strengths but do not abandon your weaknesses. Accepting them with full grace allows you to be reflexive over your existence and will allow you to transition your scars into stars.
• Practicing good self-care: It is said that “you cannot pour out of an empty vessel”. This means that if you are broken or neglected, how could you take care of something or someone else? Fulfil your basic needs of good health, proper nutrition, and sound relationships. Sleep well and exercise regularly to connect with yourself. When you are happy or content, you tend to love yourself more.
• Be a life-long learner: Who said education was limited to school or college lessons only? Life teaches you many lessons, and examines you now and then in its own way. Be open to learning: from anywhere and from anyone. Henry Ford had rightly said, “Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young.” Learn new skills, become tech-savvy with the changing world, and identify areas where you need to brush up and update yourself to steer ahead in your personal and professional life.
• Avoid addictions: It can tempting to find solace in something that brings you a sense of relief or happiness. But a recent study suggests that approximately 11.8 million deaths each year result from addictions pertaining to drugs and substance abuse. Addictions such as drugs, alcohol, smoking, and other substances can degenerate health and mental conditions which are destructive in your long-term relationship with self-love. However, addictions can also come in the form of social media, gadgets, gaming, and more which can equally cause harm and hamper healthy thinking. Learn to enjoy these things in moderation if need be without allowing them to control your mind and actions.
• Nurturing your mental health: Being positive and driving negativity out of your life is perhaps the cornerstone to self-love. It is about cultivating a harmonious thought environment that is positive, sound, and enlightening. Get rid of thoughts and people that pull you down or bring negativity into your life. Uplift yourself with positive energy and sounds through mindful meditation and deep breathing exercises. Take charge of your thoughts and nurture them to help you to grow and blossom into who you need to become.
• Forgive yourself: This can perhaps be the hardest one for you to come to terms with. Life is hard, and making mistakes if part of that journey. Never punish yourself too hard for committing mistakes or for making wrong decisions. Remember, your mistakes are not mistakes, they are lessons learned that will help you to grow and mature with grace.

Life stands on the apex of the pyramid of LOVE. Love that we get and share at every step of life.

Self-love forms the foundation of this pyramid and it is the basis on which all the other forms of love depend on.

Self-love marks the beginning and end of this journey of life because no matter what happens around you, the only person you can always depend on is YOURSELF.

Therefore, love yourself and make sure that your pyramid of love stands on a strong foundation.

Till we meet again, this is Nan Samy, your Life Coach and trusted friend in this journey signing off for now.

And as always, stay happy and stay positive!